With more work, maybe Dave Grohl (seated on drums) can finally find success in the music business.

Being a successful musician really has to be a slice of heaven. And of course the chicks are great.

It's why from the beginning of time, men (and women) have taken up instruments in the chance they will be played in front of many, many others, some of whom could possibly want to have sex with them. Oh, and money is a factor too.

Even guys like Bon Iver get mad tail, and he basically weeps for two hours onstage. But alas, not everyone will make it in the cruel music biz, that slurring, drunken sea-bitch of an industry.

See also:
-The 50 Commandments of SXSW

More »

For Christ's sake, don't break any of these commandments this year.

You're going to South by Southwest, right? Or you're already there? One of those things is bound to be true. Well, we here at DC9 have got some advice for you, and we've managed to format it all into the style of commandments, because one of our favorite things to do is pretend we're angry Gods. Or something like that. We're not really sure, but the doctor told us it was best to just go with it.

So, here they are, the 50 Commandments of SXSW 2013.

More »

You were a little flat at the end of your performance of "Happy Birthday" there, Wolf Violinist

The last few days, Village Voice Media's indefatigable music staff has been regaling you with stories of the best from SXSW 2012. In the midst of these discoveries, we've been culling another list: the worst shit. The acts that ranged from huge bore-fests to downright lame. Below, you'll find our critics' submissions. Let us know if you have similar experiences.

Yawn at Bar 96
Standing up for indie rock in 2012 is like pledging allegiance to Joseph Kony, and we have bands like infantile Chicago quartet Yawn to thank. The pleasure of Bandcamp is that we get to peruse hashtags like "animal collective, avant-pop, beach boys, brian eno, electronic, of montreal, vampire weekend, yeasayer, avant-pop, dreampop, electronic, indie pop, Chicago" and theoretically end up with something that resembles those terms. (Don't forget "andrew bird" and "beirut," guys.) The downside is that a slickly produced EP like Yawn's self-titled collection and last year's Open Season get out to the masses too fast. Tongue-wagging tastemakery takes over, and suddenly folks trying to fill out lineup cards at festivals end up latching onto goobers like these guys without seeing them perform.

Yawn's live act confirms they are a fraud. Thursday's appearance at Bar 96 was the art of trying as hard as possible to seem like they weren't trying. Imagine four unremarkable white dudes with unkempt hair having a rehearsal consisting of directions like "can you make your voice crack a little more when you add some unnecessary harmony to the second verse," or "make sure to introduce that song that obviously isn't slow as a 'slow jam.'" Further banter clunkers: "This is Terry Gross and you're listening to NPR" and "We're in Austin right now, but let's imagine we're in Africa." Even the guy convulsing and spazzing in place to these dilute ripoffs must have been a paid extra. Such earnest attempts to make flippant music -- well, it's enough to make you... yawn. -- Reed Fischer / City Pages

More »

Nick Rallo

Justin Townes Earle at Stubb's BBQ

So, we come to it: the end of all things. Four days of madness, Doritos, Skrillex and finally, St. Patrick's Day. Before we bid SXSW 2012 farewell, allow us to share our favorite moments from SXSW day four. Later, we'll let you know which shows weren't so hot. Find our favorites below, and if there was a show that blew your hair back--let us know in the comments. To quote Raymond Chandler: "I went to brush something off my cheek, and it was the floor."

Grupo Fantasma - The Stage on Sixth
Anytime Grupo Fantasma plays, one has to fight the feeling that this might be the best band in the world, or at least the most fun. On Saturday the Grammy-winning Austin Latin funk-rock ensemble crammed nine musicians onto a small stage under a backyard tent, and put on the kind of party-rocking perfomance that can only be achieved with Latin rhythms, a three-piece horn section, and some seriously whammy'd-out guitar solos. Yes, the lyrics are in Spanish. But this group's endless energy and sunglassed cool spoke more than words ever could. When Grupo Fantasma plays, casual observers become blissed-out converts, and even the older ladies in the crowd get up to shake it. Having seen them twice now - both times in front of hometown crowds - I've learned to never underestimate this group's powers of seduction. The only thing this writer doesn't understand is why Grupo Fantasma isn't better known. -- Ian S. Port

More »

Marco Torres

50 Cent and Eminem at the Austin Music Hall. More photos below.

If you're familiar with chaos theory, which in its basic form is the attempt to find patterns in the random acts of shit on Earth, then you may understand the difficulty that comes with describing a full day at SXSW. To break down the chaos, Village Voice Media's roving music editors have selected their favorite moments from SXSW day three, along with our sponsored Slim Shady SXSW showcase with 50 Cent and Eminem. Find 'em below, and let us know in the comments what show blew your hair back.

50 Cent / Eminem - Austin Music Hall
Never mind that Get Rich or Die Trying actually came out in 2003; the moist and dewy crowd at Austin Music Hall last night was plenty psyched for his performance of his debut album on its "10th anniversary." Backed by a full band, 50 came out in his signature vest, though it proved unnecessary as not a single shot was fired at him. His mentor Eminem came out as surprise guest, rapping passionately from beneath his hoodie. The show was further proof that this "artists doing their seminal albums in full" thing is the best trend in popular music. -- Ben Westhoff

More »

Nick Rallo

Oh nothing, just a guy in a wolf mask playing "Happy Birthday" on the violin

If you're familiar with chaos theory, which in its basic form is the attempt to find patterns in the random acts of shit on Earth, then you may understand the difficulty that comes with describing a full day at SXSW. To break down the bright, scintillating chaos, Village Voice Media's roving music editors have selected their favorite moments from SXSW day two. Find 'em below, and let us know in the comments what show blew your hair back.

A.Dd+ - Kiss & Fly
I was at the Audible Treats showcase at Kiss & Fly to see Dallas' own A.Dd+, who had the entire crowd screaming their name by set's end. Paris Pershun and Slim Gravy facilitated that reaction somewhat by ending the set in the crowd, rapping to each other. They've got the perfect complementary flow, and when they trade verses, they actually look at each other with an intensity rarely seen in rap duos nowadays, gauging where the other might be going. They just got off tour with Detroit's Black Milk, so they've no doubt gotten a chance to refine their delivery. The energy of the set made me stick around for Brooklyn trio Flatbush Zombies, who endured some technical difficulties, but thankfully got to perform their hit "Thug Waffle." Bay area rapper Moe Green followed suit, but the surprise of the night was Georgia Anne Muldrow, an L.A. emcee who's just as comfortable with rap as jazz and soul, a beat poet who eschews formal verse/chorus/verse in favor of mantra and message. Her voice is an instrument in itself. Madlib produced her upcoming album, Seeds, and I can't wait to hear the fruits of that interstellar collaboration. - Audra Schroeder

More »

Nick Rallo

Sharon Van Etten, at the NPR showcase, was a stunner. Plus, there was a box accordion

​If you're familiar with chaos theory, which in its basic form is the attempt to find patterns in the random acts of shit on Earth, then you may understand the difficulty that comes with describing a full day at SXSW. To break down the bright, scintillating chaos, Village Voice Media's roving music editors have selected their favorite moments from SXSW day one. Find 'em below, and let us know in the comments what show blew your hair back.

Christopher Cross - Austin Music Hall
Yacht Rock was so 2007, but Christopher Cross is one cool customer. His 20 or so minutes during the Austin Music Awards Wednesday at the Austin Music Hall was set on maximum smooth, but with teeth. The Austin music scene has always been associated with hippies and then indie-rockers, but Cross has more Grammys than anyone else in town outside Asleep at the Wheel's Ray Benson. The four players the fedora-clad Cross had with him had Steely Dan-level chops, too. He gritted out "Ride Like the Wind" with quiet anger and yearning for freedom, then brought out local string ensemble Mother Falcon and Austin Symphony Orchestra conductor Peter Bay to cruise through "Sailing."

Bonus: Watching Rolling Stone senior scribe David Fricke secretly enjoying himself during Cross' set, or at least try not to fidget too hard waiting for Alejandro Escovedo and reported special guest Bruce Springsteen. Eat your heart out, Kenny Loggins.

Random Thought from Wednesday: Supposedly Kenny Rogers is in town. Anyone know why? -- Chris Gray

More »

Marco Torres

"What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area."

You don't have to spend much time at South By Southwest to know that all of the above buildings can and do get used as music venues during the annual music festival. And starting Thursday, writers and photographers from the music blogs of the Village Voice Media empire plan to go to as many of them as we possibly can.

Those of us who were there last year - and saw collapsing fences, singers brawling with audience members, the Austin Police Department riot squad on constant standby, Odd Future all over the place - are wondering what else could possibly happen. We're about to find out.

More »

The most inspiring Miami band of SXSW 2011 ... Pretty Please!

​Hey, Miami!

Let me report that SoFla was well represented at SXSW 2011 with a large variety of acts playing around Austin: ANR, Dreaming in Stereo, Locos Por Juana, Panic Bomber, and Surfer Blood all played official showcases that made major press.

In fact, Austin360.com picked Dreaming in Stereo's showcases as one of the shows to watch while ANR played a late-night set at the Ghost Room showcasing for BMI execs from all over the country and Surfer Blood drew a huge crowd for its set.

More »

Wanda Jackson got the crowd twisting and shaking.

​All week, everyone was talking, "Michael Cera's here, Michael Cera's there. Where's Michael Cera?" On the morning of the final day of South by Southwest, we headed to a little Mexican restaurant called Mi Madre's. After ordering breakfast tacos, there he was. Finally, Michael Cera, chatting with a young lady, ordering tacos. First celebrity sighting of the day.

After watching a few bands in the backyard of the house where we were staying, the world beckoned to us with some passes into Rachel Ray's Feedback at Stubbs where the Queen of Rockabilly, Wanda Jackson performed. Ms. Jackson made our insides bubble with delight. This lady is still rocking at 73. She dated Elvis for Christ's sake!

More »