M.I.A. playing second fiddle to Madonna.

​Today, the world got an overdose of Maya Arulpragasam, AKA M.I.A., who released not one, but two music videos. The first was a featured guest spot on Madonna's "Hollaback Girl" "Give Me All Your Luvin'".

Tween SMS misspellings aside, Madonna's track is basically an ode to herself and how everyone loves her. So unfortunately, M.I.A. is relegated to playing the cheerleader role with a 10-second rap toward the end of the song.

But with all the notoriety that this guest spot is sure to bring her, we're pretty sure Interscope is looking to finally turn M.I.A. into a star.
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​Germans are notoriously kinky. But when it comes to watersports, at least 12 Deutsches are drawing a hard line at simulated restroom piss play.

According to TMZ, several women have complained about mouth-shaped urinals inside a Rolling Stones memorabilia museum restroom in Germany, calling the porcelain novelty toilet demeaning and offensive.

"If it had been based on the emblem of the Stones with the tongue, it would have been OK," says TMZ's unnamed source. "But the tongue's been left out and they really look like women's mouths."
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Based on how long he was in there, we're guessing the Biebz dropped a deuce.

​What would you do to get a glimpse of Justin Bieber?

Personally, we here at Crossfade would stop at nothing short of an epic backstage break-in, tying up security guards and stealing their clothes, crawling through air vents, and oh-so-sensually seducing tour bus drivers.

But, uh, we'd definitely draw the line at waiting outside of a bathroom while the Biebz drops a deuce. Which, it seems, is way more than your average paparazzo can say. Today, a video emerged via celeb gossip blog Perez Hilton, starring a nimrod paparazzo herd that just couldn't wait for Bieber to do his business before they harassed the fuck out of him.

What a bunch of creeps ... See Crossfade's extremely detailed breakdown after the cut.
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​As popular culture continues to be consumed by a seemingly inexhaustible inferno of idiocy - dubstep trickle down, reunion shows, Drake, the list goes on - the Recording Academy is putting on their best Nero costumes and getting their fiddles nice and tuned.

Yes. That's right. It's fucking Grammy season.

Ah, The Grammys. The only multi-bajillion dollar spectacle that actively murders the culture it's pretending to celebrate while it sells you smart phones and cancer.

Sorry to shoot ducks in a barrel, but there's no way we can go another second without letting you know the absolute ins and outs of our hatred for this incredible non-musical charade. More >>

It's an American Music Award, Chad. So what? Where's your Grammy?

​Sticks and stones may break their bones, but words really hurt Nickelback.

According to a recent article on rollingstone.com, Nickelback is "annoyed with all this constant ridicule." They're sick of taking cheap shots from critics for their lame brand of mainstream radio rock, and they're especially pissed off about petitions to ban the group from playing gigs.

Rather than letting haters hate, the Canadian group is responding to negative commentary via Twitter, playing the proverbial telephone tough guys on the other end of a prank call while hiding behind the veil of the World Wide Web.
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Wastin' away with Jimmy Buffett.

​If you're too drunk to pay attention to the superdepressing dirty-beach-bum-on-a-bender lyrics, Jimmy Buffet's "Margaritaville" might seem like some perfect little paradise where nobody works, the tequila is always free, and every afternoon is spent lazily "nibblin' on sponge cake" and "watchin' the sun bake."

But that's bullshit. The place is a death trap. And that's especially true since 99 percent of Buffet's fans (AKA Parrotheads) are rapidly aging ex-hippies who've crapped away the last 35 years guzzling endless 40-ounce frozen cocktails on the beach, passing out in the sand, and roasting like human turkeys in the blazing subtropical sun.
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When punk rock sneeringly ejaculated onto the music scene in the 1970s, it was all about volume, attitude and, most importantly, the rebellious nihilism of young disillusionment. But in 2012, self-proclaimed punk rockers look like massage therapists at a Winnie the Pooh spa.

Just take a look at The Other F Word, a Sundance-approved documentary about professional punkers who are also parents, screening this week at O Cinema.

The proliferation of heteronormative breeding (that is, makin' babies) is only one sign that punk rock is getting cuddlier by the minute.
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​The "N" word ... Nickelback. Just writing it makes us want to vomit.

While many of you can't stomach Chad Kroeger's crappy alt-rock crew either, Crossfade's recent petition to stop Nickelback from playing the BankAtlantic Center on May 5 has triggered a vicious comment war.

Nickelback supporters have derided us with inappropriate and reprehensible language like "retarded cunt" and "self-centered twat" while our backers have replied with clever, thought-provoking responses.

Conclusion: Fans of Kroeger and company are both ill-tempered and classless.
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​God is nonexistent. Need proof? Nickelback is headed our way.

With great displeasure, Crossfade regrets to announce that Alberta, Canada "rock" band Nickelback will soon embark on their Here and Now arena tour, a 39-city trek across the United States and Canada.

On Saturday, May 5, the Chad Kroeger-lead bunch will dad-rock the BankAtlantic Center with their perplexingly marketable brand of alternative adult contemporary music, a sound the Black Keys' Patrick Carney called, "watered-down, post-grunge crap," in a recent issue of Spin.

South Florida, we must band together and stop Nickelback from infiltrating our up-and-coming, culturally relevant music scene. Keep reading to find out how.
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​David Lee Roth isn't so sad and lonely anymore. The 57-year-old "gigolo" has reunited with his Dutch-brothers-from-another-mother -- Eddie and Alex -- and he's gearing up for Van Halen's North American tour, hitting the BankAtlantic Center on April 10. The only problem: It's not 1978.

Shortly after midnight last night, Van Halen debuted the video for "Tattoo," the group's first single off A Different Kind of Truth. Shot on location at the Roxy in Los Angeles, the black-and-white video is a depressing reminder that musicians (a) age terribly and (b) have a real hard time letting go.

Check out our incredibly detailed breakdown of "Tattoo" after the cut.
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