Ten Things Deadmau5 Hates Most About EDM

Photo by Danny Mahoney

Who's the biggest hater in EDM? Do we even have to dignify that question with an answer?

Deadmau5, AKA Joel Zimmerman, can't go two weeks without making some headline about how he's angry. Or he's sad. Or he's breaking up with his fiancée over Twitter. Or he's quitting Twitter. Or he thinks other DJs are stupid.

The guy is holding on to a lot of emotional baggage, and he's made it his business to share that open suitcase with the world. We'd say it's annoying, but we actually love dirty laundry. So we're airing his grievances in preparation for this Saturday's free show at Ice Palace in downtown Miami.

Just don't set off one of these trigger points and everything should be OK.

UPDATE Check out Crossfade's review and photos, "Deadmau5's Free Show for the Real Fans: "Miami's Been Redeemed.'"

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Grammys 2014: Six Things That Sucked and Six Things That Didn't Totally Suck

Courtesy of the Grammys

Another year, another Grammy show.

This may have been the 56th run, but the Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences still can't work out the kinks. It certainly wasn't the worst Grammys we've ever seen, but there was plenty to bitch about.

Some of the performances were groundbreaking, and some of them were downright snooze-worthy. As usual, the Academy tried to make up for past mistakes by shutting out deserving nominees, and it still gave too much stage time to washed-up stars who would be better remembered as they were than as they are.

Life is about balance, so we here at Crossfade broke our highlights into two simple categories. Here's what sucked and didn't totally suck about the 56th-annual Grammy Awards.

See also: Miami's Cedric Gervais Wins Grammy for Lana Del Rey "Summertime Sadness" Remix

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Holy Ship!!! 2014's Ten Craziest Raver Costumes

Photo by Ian Witlen

Crazy costumes have always been a big part of the electronic music party scene. But these days, you're nobody unless you're pretending to be somebody you're really not.

Perhaps it's the sense of anonymity that comes with a disguise. Or maybe it's because every single one of you is an attention-starved child. Whatever the case, we commend your creativity, your ingenuity, and most importantly, your near-nudity.

Here are our favorite funky fashionistas from Holy Ship!!!

See also: Holy Ship!!! 2014's Ten Most Epic Moments

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Holy Ship!!! 2014 Superlatives: Drunkest Raver, Most Ratchet Dancer, and More!

Photo by Ian Witlen

Enough about the music and enough about the giant ship -- everyone wants the good stuff!

Like, who was the most wasted asshole on the boat? Who delivered the most snooze-worthy DJ set? And who was the most ratchet dancer of Holy Ship!!! 2014?

While the rest of the blogosphere waxes poetic about the same things over and over, we're giving you the news that's LOL-worthy. Because, let's face it, PLUR is only for when we're rolling and Ship Fam is a lie.

Here is the best, worst, and weirdest of Holy Ship!!!

See also: Holy Ship!!! 2014 in Animated GIF!!!

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Six New Year's 2014 Resolutions for Miami's Club Scene

Photo by Yesenia Hernandez

Do you hear that? It's the sound of another year dissolving into yesterday. All your words, thoughts and actions of 2013 have been locked into place. We hope your regrets are few and your memories fond. Let's have one more moment of silence for the past.

Alright! Now, let's look forward and promise ourselves something. Miami, this year will be better! Say it with me now. This. Year. Will. Be. Better.

We here at Crossfade have compiled some suggestions toward that goal. Feel free to tell us what assholes we are in the comment section. Cheers!

See also: Miami's Six Most Expensive New Year's Eve 2014 Parties

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Pop Music's Winners and Losers of 2013

Is this the look of a winner or a total loser?

You win some, you lose some, and this year in music saw it all.

There were some unexpected hits and some downright drown-outs. Some old favorites came back around, some tried and true experts continued their reign of glory, and some classic moves fell off the face of the planet.

Surely, your mind is already racing with favorite memories and walking implosions. But how does your list match up against ours?

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New Party Rules for Millennials

Categories: Talking Shit

Photo by Ian Witlen
The stage is THAT way. Jeez.

Millennials, you still do all the drugs and have all the sex, but I have to break it to you -- #realtalk -- you do not know how to party.

And it's bringing me down. Heading over to what's supposed to be the "jam," hosted by 24-year-old "scenesters," I always hope that there won't be finger foods but that the fridge will be so packed with Miller High Life that it won't totally close. But then I get there, and there's artisan, sprouted, gluten-free hummus with homemade organic cheese sticks and vegan crackers for dipping. And no one looks like they're having fun.

See also: Ten Reasons EDM Is the Wimpiest Youth Culture Movement Ever

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The Six Ravers You Meet on EDM-Date.com

Photo by: Ian Witlen
Disclaimer: We chose these pictures at random from our archives, and they don't actually portray registered EDM-Date users.
You know that feel when you're at the rave get-down all by yourself and everyone around you has a spirit-hooded cuddle buddy? Big room drops just aren't the same without someone to love, but never fear, edm-date.com is here!

The sweet kandi gods of love did smile upon thee with this dating website designed to bring you closer to your "Clarity," your "Cinema," your perfect raver dreamboat. Whether you're looking for a man or a woman, a straight, a gay, a curious, a trance family member, a dubstep diva or even a hopeful producer wanna-be, edm-date.com can make your beat match happen, no train wrecks allowed.

Just don't search for a male ages 25 to 35 in Florida interested in "blog house." No such user exists.

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EDM Is Sexist: Eight Reasons It Sucks to Be a Woman Who Raves

Thanks for nothing.

As a self-respecting female with professional aspirations and a desire to be taken seriously as an individual, it's become increasingly difficult to identify with American electronic dance music culture without feeling kind of irresponsible.

Six or seven years ago, the playing field was pretty even. We went out to parties, we dressed as if David Bowie and Karen O had a baby, we got drunk on whiskey, we danced, and we were never embarrassed by our surroundings.

But things have changed. What started out as fun, rowdy party tricks have been fully incorporated into the scene as sexist expectations. That which was once ironic parody has become a parody of itself. We no longer look around the dance floor and see a utopia of acceptance.

Yes, this party is sexist. Here's why.

See also: Six Reasons to Never Have Sex With a DJ

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Six Reasons to Never Have Sex With a DJ

Just like that douche did to Kate Hudson in Almost Famous, your DJ beau will trade you in for beer and make you cry.

Calm down, party girl/boy. Before you go flaunting your shiz in the face of the selector, think about what you're really getting yourself into.

Sure, dating (or even just fucking) a DJ seems like it would be a perk-filled romp through Awesomeville's romance district. Your new beau will not only shower you with ego-stroking affection, but (s)he comes with an endless playlist of sick tunes, free drinks, free drugs, VIP access, and the ability to skip any line imaginable.

Well, you can stop right there. Because even if you get any one of those things up front, you can pretty much bet that it's going to end badly. Then you're going to feel like an idiot and a prostitute. How do we know? We've been there. Learn from our mistakes.

See also: EDM Is Sexist: Eight Reasons It Sucks to Be a Woman Who Raves

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