​Early this morning, gossip website TMZ published a scandal involving South Florida-based rapper Rick Ross that is certain to rock the respective foundations of Miami, hip-hop, and the infinitely reverberating reblogging axis.

The story was published in the early a.m., a clear strategic attempt to maximize coverage by inspiring a midnight lurker's frenzy that sustained through morning, and morphed into rush-hour tweeting. And TMZ obviously wanted to milk every last drop of the controversy, particularly because they were breaking the story, and because the story was so juicy.

We all know Rick Ross used to be a corrections officer, and some people -- mainly the famous drug dealer from whom the rapper derives his namesake -- were trying to sue him. But what did he do this time?

The crime is doggy homicide.
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Yesterday, rapper Pitbull won the keys to the City of Miami for his work "traveling the country and the world sharing a positive message of Miami," according to one city commissioner.

via Wikimedia Commons

​But for all of Mr. 305's postive-image-spreadin' "world-traveling," it's a trip he's accused of not making that's landed him in hot water.

An Australian promoter slapped Pitbull -- real name: Armando Christian Perez -- with a lawsuit this month, claiming that he skipped out on three shows scheduled Down Under in late 2008 and pocketed the advance.

Jaime Fernandez, a Sydney-based promoter who goes by the name DJ Suave, says he booked Pitbull for three Aussie shows last December, in Perth on Dec. 5, Melbourne on the 6th and Sydney on the 7th. Pitbull never showed, he says.

"We did everything we could to make him happy, sometimes even going that extra mile in order to meet his demands," Fernandez tells New Times in an email interview. "But yet he still refused to get on the plane. Not only that, he also failed to notify that he wasn't coming and also kept half the money for doing nothing at all."
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And it just got him busted yesterday in Hicktown, Mississippi where Juvie was arrested for possession of marijuana. The arrest report was rather vague and stated that the former cash money rapper had "under an ounce" of weed on him. That could mean anything. We'll keep you posted if we here more on this one.

All the real Juvie fans can ride out to this one.

-- Jonathan Cunningham

Go figure.
But you gotta give credit where its due and as of today, Miami's own Flo Rida has bumped Alicia Keys out of the number one spot on the Billboard charts and his song, "Low" has ascended in its place. It's a proud day for South Florida music fans and it's the second time this year (that I can calculate anyway) that a local has held this position. Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls" was at #1 for four weeks earlier this summer. "Low" is a catchy enough tune that he might be able to beat Kingston's streak. Even though the song is probably old to most people, "Low" is finally catching on in other parts of the country so props to Flo Rida for putting Miami on top of the charts again.

-- Jonathan Cunningham

London's favorite rock'n'roll screwball, Pete Doherty, of Babyshambles is escaping jail time despite being arrested for suspicion of drug use recently. Apparently the cops didn't get him to court within 24 hours of his arrest. Not quite sure how that happened. Maybe a few extra quids in the cops pockets helped delay the process. But for more info, read the story here. --Jonathan Cunningham

Don't even get me started on this outfit.

According to this news story, R. Kelly may finally be heading to trial to face charges on child pornography...which is a really spruced up way of saying "this jackass not only peed on a 14-year-old girl then slept with her, he also videotaped it for his own enjoyment," but that would read really long on a court docket, so they just call it child pornography. Separately, is that the best prosecutors can do at this point? If anybody I know peed all over a 14-year-old girl, slept with her, videotaped it, held private screenings of said video with all of his friends, then got CAUGHT, they'd be under the jail by now---but not R. Kelly. So I'm skeptical if Kellz is truly on his way to trial in September as the "Pied Piper (eww) of R&B" has practically finagled his way out of these charges for half a decade. There have been a long list of delays in this case and at this point, the teenager in question here is now a full blown adult. It will be interesting to see how Kelly and his team of lawyers plans to delay the trial yet again, but for a 40-year-old man to run around calling himself the Pied Piper is just weird. Especially one that makes a fortune off of a series called "Trapped in the Closet," which may explain the outfit above.
Maybe he'll duck the law continuously, though you'd think that if dude was really innocent, he'd be eager to get to court and prove it.
Whatever. In a secondary note, why do pedophiles make such good music? Somebody help me out with this one cause every time you're "Stepping in the Name of Love" at a party, don't you feel a little dirty?
If so, here's another reason to sing along and feel like you need a shower afterward. --Jonathan Cunningham


If you're still reading this, can someone explain how a man that surrounds himself with women this fine needs to cruise his old high school in Chicago looking for girls?
Chris Hansen from Dateline: To Catch a Predator needs to do a special on Kellz. Damn.