Photo by Rutger Geerling via UltraMusicFestival.com

WTF, beat freaks?!

Ultra Music Festival 2014's early-bird tickets were scheduled to go on sale yesterday at 1 p.m. EST. But as usual, the "overwhelming demand" proved to be too much for the "ticketing company's servers."

And thus began the now-annual backlash against Ultra and its alleged "rip-off" tactics.

See also:
-Ultra Music Festival Announces 2014 Dates, Only One Three-Day Weekend
-Ultra Music Festival 2014 Tickets on Sale at 1 p.m. on May 21

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Photo by Ian Witlen

Bumrush the bank, beat freaks.

Because Ultra Music Festival has just announced that tickets for the 2014 edition of its annual uhntz-uhntz-ing extravaganza will be going on sale in exactly 7350 minutes!

Oh, and obviously "festival organizers expect 2014 to be the fastest sell out in the event's history."

See also:
-Ultra Music Festival Announces 2014 Dates, Only One Three-Day Weekend

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Photo by George Martinez/gmartnx.com

South Floridians owe beat freaks and frat boys a drink.

Fueled almost entirely by Red Bull, Molly, and (presumably) a little bit of cocaine, sunburned college students from the Midwest, foreign ravers, and Ultra Music Festival organizers rallied to resurrect South Florida's economy in March.

See also:
-Ten Richest DJs: From Pauly D to Swedish House Mafia and Tiesto
-Association for Electronic Music Founded "to Advocate on Behalf of EDM"
-Ultra Fest Generates $79 Million Annually for Miami Economy: Can EDM Save the Country?

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Suffering from uhntz-uhntz withdrawal?

Well, your BFFs at Ultra Music Festival are hurting too. They're just wracked with the painful physical and psychological symptoms of craving the lost companionship of 330,000 beat freaks. Even tweeting, "We miss you guys so much ;("

Desperate to alleviate the pain of silence and separation after just two weeks, the Ultra peeps are screaming "Thanks for the memories!" with the release of the fest's official 2013 closing movie, Forever in My Mind.

See also:
-Ultra Music Festival 2013: The Complete Coverage
-Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-Ultra Music Festival Announces 2014 Dates, Only One Three-Day Weekend
More »

How weird was it to wake up this past weekend and not immediately jump on the Metrorail bound for Ultra Music Festival?

After two consecutive weeks of fist-pumping, (almost) naked raver bros, nipple pasties, and Molly, the earliest stages of rave withdrawal were starting to creep into our central nervous system.

But thank God for Azealia Banks, who just debuted the music video for her Angel Haze dis track, "No Problems." Aside from being a gnarly club banger, the video is also a look back at Ultra Music Festival, 'cause the whole thing was shot during Miami's biggest dance party.

Check out the extremely detailed breakdown after the cut.

See also:
-Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-Naked Dancing Dude Gets Arrested at Ultra 2013 (NSFW VIDEO)
-Top Ten Twerking Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-50 WTF Quotes From Ultra Music Festival 2013
-Toothpaste Man and Nine More Crazies at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-Ultra Music Festival 2013: The Complete Coverage

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All photos by Jacob Katel

Brusha! Brusha! Brusha!

So you wanna dress up like a giant tube of toothpaste and do the Tootsie Roll dance? Well, get a new idea. 'Cause Toothpaste Man at Ultra Music Festival 2013 already beat you to it.

Fear not, though, there are plenty of other wacky characters you can dress as next year.

Here are the craziest ones we saw to give you some ideas.

See also:
-Top Ten Dance Moves at Ultra Music Festival 2012 in Animated GIF!
-Naked Dancing Dude Gets Arrested at Ultra Music Festival 2013 (NSFW VIDEO)
-Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-Top Ten Twerking, Harlem Shake-ing Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF! More »

Photo by George Martinez

"What the fuck does unicorn taste like?"

Stardust. Rainbows. Maybe black-market horse meat from Miami's C-9 basin.

There's really no way to know, though. Because this fabulous one-horned equine creature doesn't actually exist. Except when you're raving, raging, and tripping out at Ultra Music Festival.

Here are 50 WTF quotes from Ultra 2013.

See also:
-Ultra 2013: Top Ten (Almost) Naked Raver Bros
-Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-Naked Dancing Dude Gets Arrested at Ultra 2013 (NSFW VIDEO)
-The Six Bad Bitches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival
-Top Ten Twerking, Harlem Shake-ing Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF
-Ultra 2013: Top Ten (Almost) Naked Raver Girls
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Photo by Jacob Katel

Snoop Dogg, for getting high on stage at Ultra Music Festival, tossing blunts into the crowd, and almost maxing out the capacity of Klipsch Amphitheater, I salute you. For bringing your crew, running through the hits, testing new material, and throwing in a couple of covers, I salute you. For rockin' with the Snoopettes, doing that awesome anti-gun song, and getting thousands of girls to sing out loud about wanting to fuck, I salute you. Much respect to you, man.

But there's a lot of shit that pissed me off about your show during weekend two of Ultra 2013. For starters it was almost all old Dogg shit, and there was no bass. A lot of the tracks dropped with about as much power as leg lifts at a nursing home. Where was the Lion's roar?

Check out last week's review: "Snoop Dogg Goes From Rasta to Gangsta to Raver, Debuts "No Guns Allowed."

See also:
-Avicii Does Country Music and Eric Prydz Proclaims "Love You" UMF!
-Ultra 2013: Slash Does Surprise Guitar Solo, "Pretty Awesome Gig"
-Deadmau5 Proves He's a Real Person, Rejects the Easy Headliner Gimmicks
-Ten Hours Trapped at the Trapped Stage With Flosstradamus, Baauer, UZ
-Hot Chip "Do It, Do It, Do It" for a Disappointingly Small Crowd
-Ultra 2013: Swedish House Mafia's Last Show Ever Was Celebratory, Not Sad
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Photo by George Martinez

Molly Casa, AKA Miami's PLUR Mama.

Wassup, Miami! And all you foreigners breathing our air.

We here at Crossfade are covering all your Ultra Music Festival shenanigans. And we'd be remiss if we didn't chronicle the adventures of the PLUR nation's royal queen, Molly Casa of the 305.

She's that gorgeous monster stomping around in kandi bracelets and a tribal headdress, spreading peace, love, and understanding. She's a PLUR warrior on the front-lines of humanity's fight against bullshit. And she's covered in bead magick, from head to toe.

Each and every day of Ultra 2013, we'll be tracking down this raver celeb to snap a pic of her unique look and get the skinny on what's what with UMF, the PLUR nation, and more.

Look no further, Miami. You wanted Molly, and we've got her.

See also:
-Ten Raver Tips on How to Dress for Ultra 2013
-Five New and International Names for Molly, According to Ultra Ravers
-Ultra 2013: Top Six WTF Moments from Weekend One
-Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-Naked Dancing Dude Gets Arrested at Ultra Music Festival 2013 (NSFW VIDEO) -Ultra in Pics: The 15 Photo Highlights, From Plushie Penises to Killer Clowns
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Photo by Ian Witlen

What gets EDM-ers excited?

Sometimes "bass makes bitches cum." (Just ask these rumble-humping raver chicks.) Other times, a human chicken might be the thang that'll get the party people hot.

And at Ultra Music Festival, the beat freaks are undoubtedly the kinkiest. Just make the jump for Crossfade's 15-photo recap of the last day at Ultra 2013

Check out the 72-photo slideshow for "Ultra Music Festival 2013 Weekend Two Day Three."

See also:
-Ultra 2013 in Pics: Day One, From Marijuana Boobs to Human Bananas
-Ultra 2013 in Pics: Day Two, From Stoned Gnomes to UMF Tramp Stamps
-Ultra 2013 in Pics: Day Three, From Plushie Penises to Killer Clowns
-Ultra 2013 in Pics: Day Four, From Robot Ravers to Boys Noize's Skull
-Ultra 2013 in Pics: Day Five, From Lip Tattoos to Pookie Monsters

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