Goddamn, Danny Brown rapping with his dee in someone's mouth! Bossin'.

Everyone loves a good concert, and everyone loves a good porno. So it's only math that everyone loves it twice as much when famous musicians get nasty as fuck in public.

And nothing beats being brought on stage by your favorite performer for a scandalous, titillating, once-in-a-lifetime sexual experience. Even just watching a sexy superstar dry-hump nothing can be one of the hottest things you'll ever see.

So, who are the nastiest freaks in the music world? Some of this may not surprise. Or actually, maybe it will. Either way, you're going to need to close your door and get real acquainted with yourself.

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Photo by Chad Sengstock via facebook.com/SuicidalTendencies

Between 1984 and 1989, Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas, as "Sonny" and "Rico," respectively, were the coolest motherfuckers on television, eliminating highly dramatized drug crime 'round South Beach in pimp Armani blazers over pastel t-shirts on NBC's Miami Vice every Friday night. And just like show itself, music featured in the TV action-drama was often sexy as hell.

So naturally, when Mike Muir received a phone call asking if Suicidal Tendencies wanted to appear in an episode, the hardcore punk group's frontman dismissed it as a friendly hoax.

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Via facebook.com/TheWonderfulSound

If you're a regular on Miami's dance music scene, then you've probably caught Induce (AKA Ryan Smith) spinning records at any number of local hotspots over the years. Or maybe you remember him as half of DJ-production duos Midnight Moroders with Danny Daze and Casual Sax with Sven Barth.

In many ways, Smith is the quintessential Miami artist, playing to the 305's many musical appetites with a seamless blend of hip-hop, disco, soul, electro, and everything in between. His 2012 long player Halfway Between You and Me, an MTV Hive pick for its "Best of 2102 Indie-Soul" list, is a formidable document that captures that uniquely eclectic Miami sound.

"'Get Down Saturday Night' is sort of the song that started it all," Smith tells Crossfade about the album.

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The Prez and Hova "got a little bond there."

But Obama insists he didn't help his pals, Jay-Z and Beyonce (AKA The Carters), secure clearance from the Treasury Department for their fifth anniversary vacay to Cuba.

"This is not something the White House was involved with," POTUS tells the Today Show's Savannah Guthrie, brushing a lil' dirt off his shoulder.

"We've got better things to do."

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-Jay-Z, Beyonce in Cuba: Treasury Department Confirms the Trip Was "Authorized"
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Via youtube.com/user/NardwuarServiette

Mean muggin' with Raider Klan crew member Ethelwulf, Nardwuar the Human Serviette, and SpaceGhostPurrp.

"Holy fucking shit ... Is this Meshuggah?"

That's how Carol City creep rapper SpaceGhostPurrp reacts when Canadian weirdo interviewer Nardwuar bestows a fine slab of Swedish metal upon him.

Why? Because SGP is the rare hip-hopper with a deep and abiding fanaticism for dark and heavy death-obsessed rock. "This shit just get me in my mood ... I wanna shove [Meshuggah] up someone's ass right now."

Of course, though, it ain't all about extreme tuneage. Because Purrp and 'Wuar also talk Raider Klan, Danzig tees, and 305 bass. Homies even rate Miami's strip clubs.

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-Ultra 2013: SpaceGhostPurrp Talks Tattoos and Raider Klan at a Rave (Video)
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Suffering from uhntz-uhntz withdrawal?

Well, your BFFs at Ultra Music Festival are hurting too. They're just wracked with the painful physical and psychological symptoms of craving the lost companionship of 330,000 beat freaks. Even tweeting, "We miss you guys so much ;("

Desperate to alleviate the pain of silence and separation after just two weeks, the Ultra peeps are screaming "Thanks for the memories!" with the release of the fest's official 2013 closing movie, Forever in My Mind.

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Usually when C. Breezy visits a morning talk show for a lil' chit-chat about domestic violence, all the windows get smashed.

This morning, though, an uncharacteristically sedate Chris Brown visited with NBC's Matt Lauer on the set of the Today Show to discuss a new single, "the Quincy Jones approach," that infamous 2009 felony conviction for beating up Rihanna, his current perspective on punching ladies, and being a "changed man."

"I think it's just me proving myself once again," Breezy insists. "And also, just me being a man, knowing that what I did was wrong and never doing it again."

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How weird was it to wake up this past weekend and not immediately jump on the Metrorail bound for Ultra Music Festival?

After two consecutive weeks of fist-pumping, (almost) naked raver bros, nipple pasties, and Molly, the earliest stages of rave withdrawal were starting to creep into our central nervous system.

But thank God for Azealia Banks, who just debuted the music video for her Angel Haze dis track, "No Problems." Aside from being a gnarly club banger, the video is also a look back at Ultra Music Festival, 'cause the whole thing was shot during Miami's biggest dance party.

Check out the extremely detailed breakdown after the cut.

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-Ultra Music Festival 2013: The Complete Coverage

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Photo by Jacob Katel

While the bass shook the pool water at the Raleigh Hotel, booties in short shorts bounced up and down. And so did Steve Aoki, who looked like a little kid at Christmas behind the decks. His Dim Mak label's Winter Music Conference and Miami Music Week day party brought out not only those on his label, but OGs like Benny Benassi and Afrojack who made cameos during Aoki's set.

Amid the EDM mayhem, we sat down with Dim Mak's hot Canadian foursome Azari & III for a seriously goofy talk. Right after Azari's Alixander III showed us how GHB-enhanced dancing looks, Aoki crashed the interview. We discussed opening a cake company, Diplo in a hamster ball, and someone showed us some Speedo ass.

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-Winter Music Conference 2013: The Complete Coverage
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Via facebook.com/SAFEmusic.us

The promoters and DJs of SAFE Miami have been providing the soundtrack for the drunken shenanigans that go down at the Electric Pickle and other 305 clubs since 2007.

Having played a pivotal role in Miami's music scene for nearly six years, SAFE is the subject of a new mini-documentary filmed by Carlos Dominicis of Cafeteria Films.

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