Ask A Domme: Teenage Son Prefers Stilettos to Sneakers

​Sex, love, relationship advice from a professional dominatrix. If you have any questions, drop an e-mail to askadomme@miaminewtimes.com, you naughty boys and girls. Read more about Mistress Lera at Notes From a Miami Dominatrix.

Dear Mistress,
I want to politely ask for your advice. I found out about a dark, secret obsession of my teenage son. While cleaning his bedroom, I looked into his closet and was astonished by what I discovered. In a cardboard box he stored female clothing and make-up. I think he is a lost and disturbed little boy. I thought of confronting him, but then decided to write you a letter first. In my opinion, no real man should wear dresses and heels. Do you think I should send him to a therapist?
Sincerely,
Manic Mama

Dear Manic Mama,
The only thing that was disturbed in this case was your son's privacy. I know what you are probably thinking at the moment: He is my son. He lives in my house, under my roof and I have the right to blah, blah, blah and blah, along with all the other preachy shit that many parents shove down their children's throats once they reach the peak of their turbulent teenage years.

It's funny that you write to a dominatrix seeking advice. I guess it takes one to know one. So you decided to ask one "mentally disturbed" human being about another potentially "disturbed" human being's state of mind. Here's my advice to you: stop being a righteous bitch. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your son. We've all played dress-up. Do you not remember yourself as a child trying on your mother's dresses that were three times your size? Or smudging her bright red lipstick all over your tiny face? What about her high heels in which you used to wobble across the bedroom, parading in all your youthful femininity?

Most of us have cross-dressed at least once in our lifetime. Plus, to some degree, we all have some sort of kink, fetish, or fantasy. Someone may be obsessed with rubber panties and latex catsuits, while others fantasize about licking a female's well-groomed feet, and there are people in this world, just like your son, who adore dressing up as a woman. Last time I checked, none of these "disturbed" individuals committed heinous crimes. Moreover, please enlighten me how your son's interest in female clothing does not make him a "real man"?  He's got an Adam's apple and a penis, so by a definition he is a real man.

As for seeing a therapist, don't even bother. Just like one of my fictional heroes Hannibal Lecter says, I don't consider psychology to be a science. I'd rather peel off my face and feed it to a dog than see a therapist. So save up all the money that you would've spent on some pretentious nerd with a pen and a clipboard, and buy your son the Jimmy Choos he deserves.