Five Most Annoying Car Accessories
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| justin feed via flickr |
| Playing with your balls is frowned upon. |
1. Hanging balls
Nothing says "I'm a bad ass" better than having a huge pair of testicles hanging from a trailer hitch. On second thought, it more likely says "I'm unbelievably idiotic, but I do like my balls." Though any balls hanging off your truck just look dumb, at least the brass ones refer to having "brass balls." The fleshy, skin-colored ones? Those are just plain nasty.
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| MSVG via flickr |
| From this angle, we admit, it looks cool. |
It's hard to criticize this trend, since it says "Miami" like few other trends ever have. There's a nice symmetry between the neon shining underneath all the cars in Miami and all the strip-club neon we have around town. We wonder if the same manufacturer is responsible for both.
3. Sports flags
We love supporting our sports teams in Florida, but do you have to fly those dumb ass window flags? The worse part is that they appear, almost instantaneously, immediately following wins by the respective teams. Conversely, they go away with losses. It's as if the first thing fans do after getting off their asses after watching a three-and-a-half hour football game is run into their garage to put on or take off the flags. Read a book. Or even a People Magazine, you schmuck. Banners are for kids!
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| ms. Tea via flickr |
| It's not a shield, it's a hubcap. |
There is a distinction between spinning rims and spinning hubcaps. Spinning rims are goofy, old news and generally make you look like a doofus. Spinning hub caps, on the other hand, that's just bad form. It let's the world know, "I have no style and no money." And that just doesn't fly in Miami.
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| Lorianne DiSabato via flickr. |
| Tempting fate? |
In Miami, you never know whether they are real bullet holes or fake ones, but if, upon closer inspection, they turn out to be phony, then we would suggest you pump their car full of real ones. No. That was just a joke. Don't shoot anybody or anything. A simple key job will do the trick. Also, we never figured out why the next logical step to this trend - fake gun pointed out of car - never took hold like the bullet thing.
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