Cat Lady Reasons Why Felines Are Better Than Men or Babies

Categories: Lists
CatLove.jpg
Flickr CC Theoego
Please, no tongue this time.
A recent study, published in the Behavioural Processes journal, says that "cat-human relationships are nearly identical to human-only bonds," especially cat-women relationships. This means that you and your cat are linked not just by feeding times and poop clean-up, but by social relationships and non-verbal communication. Basically, you guys really get each other.  

These recent scientific revelations indicate that there's no need for babies or boyfriends, all you need is a cat. Besides the lack of sex, which you can get other ways, the bond you have with your furry feline trumps that of your need for a pre-verbal infant or non-verbal boyfriend. Talk all the crap you want about the cat ladies out there, but below are five good reasons why your relationship with your four-legged, meowing beast is superior to the other ones the world's trying to force on you.


1. Cats clean themselves, so unlike babies or men who need constant care and attention, your cat is fairly independent. Unlike children, you can leave your cat at home alone for a day or two while you make your way around town, and no one'll take it away from you.

2. Cat food is cheaper than human food. This is good one, because when your broke boyfriend makes you buy him dinner all the time, you can dump him and spend a fraction of the price and time feeding your feline. Unless he too can can get down with some fragrant Fancy Feast.

3. Big cats are more fun. If you feed your cat enough, and he's all huge, then you don't have to be scared about crushing him in your sleep when he's cuddled next to you, like you would a baby. And really, no matter how big he is, he's still smaller than a man, leaving more space to move around in your sleep. 

4. Meows aren't as loud as human crying or screaming. When babies cry, or you get into a huge, ugly fight with your boyfriend, you have to listen to loud things. When your cat meows, you pet him or feed him, take him to the vet, or ignore him, and you know what, it's all good. 

5. Cats are easy to read. Their needs are few, and they're cute. Babies grow up to be angry smelly teenagers who resent you. Boyfriends either dump you or become sad husbands with either too much or too little control over your life. Keep the cat.

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14 comments
Kathleen D. Cone
Kathleen D. Cone

Odd thing about 'Cat Ladies' or "Cat Men" as the titles imply, an obsession with cats. There is a parasite carried by cats that is meant to attract rats. This parasite has been found in human, Cat Ladies and Cat Men, and causes them to act in a similiar way to cats as rats do. 'A seeking out the cat syndrome'. In essense it's a mind controlling parasite. Isn't that amazing? So when you run into a person obsessed with having dozens of cats (often not even being able to care for them properly) one should immediately consider the possibility that this parasite is at work behind the scenes. :+)

Ageranger361
Ageranger361

and u get the benefit of free sexual relations with your cat! Blaqh! Cats suck, dogs are way better! When is the last time a cat dragged a family member from a burning house or chased off a burglar!

jstill
jstill

I'm not sure if this is tongue in cheek, but I do know that certain people really feel this way.

And it is true in a way; SOME people are way better off bonding with animals than with other people.

But clearly and thankfully this isn't the norm.

carneviva
carneviva

instead of cats perhaps people need a lesson in humor and sarcasm....p.s my cat and I mind meld every day..BOOOOOOOOOM

Secrebel
Secrebel

Not all men leave their women. Maybe it's just you?

Jaydenlight
Jaydenlight

Only in Miami does horrible writing pass as acceptable.

Ageranger361
Ageranger361

I'm pretty sure the saying is "Tongue AND Cheek!" lol

Ageranger361
Ageranger361

Nice! Women are just bucking for a new saying... A cat is a girls best friend, but it doesn't work. Nothing like Dog is Mans (all of mankind) best friend!

EAT
EAT

I guess you got dumped for a feline.

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