Ten Things Pets Would Do If They Had Thumbs (PHOTOS)

Categories: Lists
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Illustration by Alex Izaguirre
They would be gamers.
Why do we love Dogs Playing Poker and Spaghetti Cat? Because we think it's funny when inferior animals try to mimic our superior human ways. Especially when they're trying to do things that require a thumb -- which only us, the mighty homo sapiens (and okay, maybe another smelly primate or two) have, making their feeble attempts to be like us HILARIOUS.

Silly animals. Stick to what you're good at -- producing our food, glue, and purses. Oh yeah, and you're also pretty decent at being our pets. Thanks.

Which is why on this holiest of holidays, What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day, we've decided to give you glimpse into a world where cats and dogs can do things that require thumbs.

1. They would play pool.

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Illustration by Alex Izaguirre
Hey, all dogs like balls. They like to sniff them, lick them, even bite them. Uh, get your mind out of the gutter, we're not talking about the kind that dangle, we're talking tennis balls. And once dogs figure out that they can't sink their teeth into a billiard ball, we figure they'll utilize their next favorite thing to fetch -- a stick.

2. They would become gamers.

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Illustration by Alex Izaguirre
Cats sleep an estimated 15 hours a day. So do a lot of adolescent gamers. Plus, with cats getting their bloodlust-fill virtually, imagine all the mice and lizards' lives that will be spared! Viva vermin!

3. They would use doorknobs.

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Illustration by Alex Izaguirre
Because they can! Mailmen, watch your back.

4. They would thumb wrestle.

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Illustration by Alex Izaguirre
So they can finally figure out which species reigns SUPREME (after humans, of course).
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4 comments
WickedCats
WickedCats

They might also learn to use guns, even bows and arrows. Wouldn't it be interesting if the hunters suddenly became the hunted?

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