Eight Hand Gestures That'll Let Everyone Know You're From the 3-0-5
|Miami gang signs are only part of the fun.|
Practice the following hand gestures and other forms of nonverbal communication in the mirror (make sure nobody is watching) and you'll be able to get along in traffic, at restaurants, at ballgames, in nightclubs, and the rest of everyday life in the Magic City:
|Do you want a colada or have a small peepee?|
Basically, make a "C" with your index finger and thumb direct it toward your waiter and they'll know its time for a colada, expresso or café con leche. Caution. In some cultures it could be taken as an insult if the recipient thinks you're commenting on his lack of endowment.
7. The Telephone
It's just fun to do the telephone. Stick out your thumb and pinky and rest the rest of your knuckles in between your cheek and chin and you have a hand phone with unlimited minutes. Sure, it's not a Miami thing per se, but who cares? If you want to add a little Miami flavor, substitute your middle finger for your pinky -- it's awkward but original.
|The "U" is known around the world.|
Born from one of the most arrogant, universally despised college football programs, the "U" hand gesture - made by combining an "L" and inverse "L" - lets everybody know you're from Miami and support a baddass football team. Billy Corben and Rakontur helped make this hand gesture even more popular with his ESPN documentary titled, what else, The U.
5. The "Go Ahead, Fuck Face!"
This is only appropriate when you're in congested traffic and some asshole driver (i.e. all Miami drivers) pulls a 3-0-5 special on you: a forced merger endangering multiple lives. What you do is extend your arm over the dashboard with palm up and make one long sweeping motion across your body. In effect, you are sarcastically granting them permission to get in front of you after the fact. Usually, this is preceded by a horn honking so that they look in their rearview and witness your non-verbal sarcasm. They'll usually respond by giving you the bird.
|The Biebs pulled out a double point when in Miami recently, as a show of respect.|
Nothing fancy here. Just point at someone. The great thing about this hand gesture is its versatility. It can be a greeting, accusatory, intimidating, or coquettish. Only try this if you have the balls to intimidate someone or are not worried about the consequences of coming on to them like a considerable douche bag. If you do this and end up looking meek or point at the wrong person, you could be in serious trouble.
3. Air Signature
This alerts the wait staff that you are ready for your check. At different times Cultist has actually drawn a check mark in the air to see if people understood, but mostly we were met with blank stares. Try this for fun: Actually write something in the air, instead of the chicken scratch you're probably mimicking. Remember, you have to write in backwards in the air for your waiter or waitress to understand, which, admittedly, complicates matters.
|Even Miami toddlers know how to flash the WTF!|
This is as much a shoulder shrug as it is a hand gesture, but we included it anyway, because it is Miamiriffic. It can be used anytime you are angry at anybody for any reason. Lift your shoulders and then lift your hands (palms up, as if you are asking for a hand out). Believe you us, it's annoying and very Miami.
|3-0-5 in da house.|
Enough with the pretenders, you want to tell somebody you're from Miami then flash the 3-0-5 hand sign. One hand does the "3" and "0" (basically looks like an "Ok" sign) while the hand just flashes "5" digits. For the gangsta version make sure your arms and pulled in close to your body with the hand gestures crooked like. The added benefit of the 3-0-5 is that it looks like you are telling somebody something is simultaneously "Ok" but also to "Stop." It's confusing for those who are not from the 3-0-5, but, hey, it's their fault for not being from the 3-0-5.
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