Why Charlie Sheen's New Sitcom Will Be Terrible

Categories: Film and TV
rsz_charlie-sheen.jpg
Don't expect his new sitcom to be winning...
Rejoice, America! Our long national nightmare of Charlie Sheen not being grossly overpaid to star in a mediocre sitcom is almost over. Sheen has inked a deal with Lionsgate to star in a sitcom adaptation of the film Anger Management.

The deal gives Sheen a stake of ownership in the show, ensuring for the foreseeable future that he will still have plenty of money to buy boats he can fill with malnourished porn stars. Excited about the new show? Don't be. We have pored over Sheen's deal and have pinpointed why it will likely suck.

Source Material

The new sitcom is based on the 2003 Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson vehicle Anger Management, a film we always confuse with Analyze This. Though an OK movie, was it really something you found yourself saying, "Wow, I wish I could spend time with these characters for years to come"? If they were dead-set on adapting a Jack Nicholson movie into a TV series for Sheen, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest would have been a far more interesting choice.

 

Quantity of Episodes

In the overall deal with Lionsgate, Sheen is following the model set by classic sitcoms such as Tyler Perry's House of Payne and asking for a network to commit to an initial order of ten episodes followed by 90 more once the show reaches a certain margin in the ratings. One hundred episodes virtually guarantees the show will get picked up for syndication, but it also guarantees that a whole lot of those episodes will be godawful. Expect a show that, much like Fascist Italy, cares more about the trains running on time than quality.

 

Explicitness

Because Sheen and his producers are clearly aiming to sell the show into syndication as quickly as possible, the sitcom will likely have to be sanitized for a 7 p.m. audience. Which means no references to drug-induced mania or dating porn stars or really any of the things that people found interesting about Sheen in the first place.

Sure, there will be plenty of innuendo that will fly over the heads of younger viewers à la Two and a Half Men, but could you imagine how much more interesting, if not better, the show could be if developed for FX, AMC, or HBO?

 

Catch Phrases Galore

Remember "winning!" and "tiger blood" and all the goofy stuff that came out of Sheen's drug-addled mouth when he first went off the rails? And how fun it was to quote it to your friends or on Twitter until you started seeing "winning!" on T-shirts and tiger blood cocktails at bars? Expect these catch phrases and many others to be rammed down your throat every episode of Anger Management. Maybe Sheen will say, "I put the psycho in psychotherapy!" at the end of every show before the credits. 

 

Pure Sheen

Currently there is no network attached to air Anger Management, or costars, or even a show runner and writing team. The main creative force behind the show is just Charlie Sheen. Having Charlie Sheen as your main creative source might be fun if he were still giving chain-smoking interviews to TMZ and 20/20, but he's not.

Charlie Sheen is now a brand where a sober dude tries to convince you he's wild and unhinged. And his individual endeavors thus far, such as his failed web series or failed comedy tour, have been abysmal. Just how bad is Sheen at making creative decisions? He has agreed to host this year's Gathering of the Juggalos. Unless Aaron Sorkin comes along to make the show good, or even just interesting, we'll be saving room on our DVR for Ashton Kutcher's debut on Two and a Half Men (no, we won't).



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8 comments
Juliet
Juliet

oh please just shut up..Charlie Sheen is smart, witty and awesome and you are not !I will watch his new show and hope it will be on a good cable channel like FX, Showtime or HBO. Go Charlie your fanbase is strong and medias can f..K themselves, they are just lame and pathetic.

Sklasz
Sklasz

Mr. Spears is a sad unfortunate shell of a man whose anger at his own life and situation has permeated his ASSesment of this new project.  He has had no conversations with anyone involved in the project and only knows what little information has been released.  He surely is jealous that someone who carries on like Charlie can be that successful when he 'works' so hard and clearly wants the fame of a star of Mr. Sheens stature.  It is clear to me that Mr. Spears should change professions. 

patricedyal
patricedyal

I didn't really watch TAAHM that much in prime time but would watch in syndication. However, I do think I will check out the new version in September.      http://bit.ly/pK5it6

Eliud Sanchez
Eliud Sanchez

Dude get a life all you do is talk shit about a great actor " Charlie Sheen". I dont care what he does off set the guy is funny. The whole crew of Two & A Half Men are BIG but I think they'll both suck cause we'll always be comparing Charlie to the show 2&ahalfmen and together they made me and my whole family laugh are asses off.

Jphagan65
Jphagan65

Its quite clear that you just hate Charlie Sheen and you almost sound like your speaking for everybody well not me , you shouldn't be so quick to down the new show , for one thing the movie anger management was extremely funny and we never got it mixed up with analyze this am was much funnier and a all around better movie and sheen is not gonna throw his catch phrases in the show , he's not that stupid and do you really think Joe Roth would get involved in something that was as you said god awful . The only show or movie Charlie did that would warrant that title was Chase and two and a half men was Forsure the funniest sitcom out there , it wasn't # 1 for nothing and I think we all kno why don't we ? Charlie

Jonas Polsky
Jonas Polsky

Let's not forget this is a prime op for overt brand synergy ROI.

lilirose
lilirose

Sorry, but shouldn't you at least WATCH The new sitcom before already claiming it will be "terrible". You are clearly, letting your own dislike over Mr. Sheen cloud your own judgement.

Mattski
Mattski

I agree with lilirose. That's your opinion Drew Spears. You need to watch it before criticing it.. Cause I read is theories not facts...

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