Ten Cringeworthy Tweets From 17-Year-Old Child Bride Courtney Stodden

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The lovebirds.
Courtney Stodden, the child bride of 51-year-old Doug Hutchison (who played the gross correctional officer in The Green Mile, Toons from The X-Files, and Horace Goodspeed from Lost) just celebrated her 17th birthday this week. And as you piece together the blown bits of your mind in order to fully digest the fact that a 51-year-old man married a 16-year-old girl, it gets creepier. Way creepier. For instance, this is how Stodden decided to Tweet farewell to her last day of being 16: Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy! ;-)

And there's more -- way more goose-bump and vomit-inducing brain farts to be found on her Twitter page @CourtneyStodden. Get ready to cringe and dry heave.


And Stodden's jailbait Tweets aren't just disturbing. If you believe that these Tweets are actually conducted in Stodden's own overly peroxided head (and it isn't Hutchison creating the tweets himself), it becomes evident in the language she uses that she's no dimwitted Lolita.

She actually has a great sense for language and could have quite a career as an editor in chief at any major adult or Village Voice Media publication if she really set her sights sort of high. But most likely she won't.

She'll just continue to beguile us with her tweets of gold, so absurd they're almost like hilarious poetry. So in honor of Stodden's 17th birthday, here's ten of her greatest tweets (which has only been around since July 1st):

10. Why is her body moist? Is she made of delicious cupcakes?

While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply



9. Man, someone cool her down with a Popsicle, STAT!

As I soak up the last bit of heat out here on my sun-glazed patio in a cheeky bikini, my entire body IGNITES with desire for a steamy night!less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply



8. What is this "it" she is referring to? Spay paint? A Polaroid picture? Shake N Bake? A bobble-hula girl? Pepto Bismol? Doug's hand? Or is it a disgusting combo of all five?

While Doug prepares a delicious din-din, I arouse his appetite by shakin it on the kitchen counter to "Car Candy" ... Just doin' my job! ;-)less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply



7. We'll tell you who knows a Ferris wheel is fun -- children.
 

Had a blast last night @ the Santa Monica Pier. I loved performing dances on the light up poles. Who knew a ferris wheel could be so fun?!less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply



6. A wet cat suit? A wet cat is not sexy. Is this sexy? No!
 

Stepped my paws into a sexy wet cat-suit; Prowling mysteriously around the house while lickin' my lips searchin' for some nip! MEEEOWWW! ;-)less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply




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19 comments
Toni Young Smith
Toni Young Smith

Am I the only one who sees that this girl is being sexually exploited?  Where is child protection services?  This child needs to be removed from her parents and her 51 year old husband.   I have never seen such sickening behavior displayed for the whole world to see.  This all feels to close to child pornography for my liking.

Annie
Annie

What's with all of the exclamation marks in her tweets? They read like a poorly written supermarket paperback, a mixture of soft porn and hot flashes.

Marbar1177
Marbar1177

I bet he likes child porn they like guys like in the pokey lol

js
js

she's a creep!

karl
karl

How could you possibly think that she has a great sense of language? Basic grammar and syntax aside, her "double entendres" are corny and poorly executed. I don't really care how badly a little kid wants to be inappropriate, but her attack on the English languages makes me want to slap her with a dictionary.

lucy
lucy

Wow this is either done by an extremely jealous 17 yo or a dirty nasty 51 yo who wishes he could get a hottie like courtney to marry him.

Paten9139@aol.com
Paten9139@aol.com

Poor thing, this little girl has no idea how stupid she sounds. Some things need to be kept to yourself.

Michael R
Michael R

"While Doug prepares a delicious din-din, I arouse his appetite by shakin it on the kitchen counter to "Car Candy" ... Just doin' my job! ;-)"

Now that's a real woman! Go Courtney Stodden! Ignore the Feminazis. They hate you because you do not hate their Public Enemy No. 1: the male. You embrace your God-given femininity and it infuriates them.

Doug is a lucky man!

Calling it like it is
Calling it like it is

This whole thing is a hoax. This slut isn't 17, she's much older... she has the beat-up face of a 40 year old stripper.

Michael R
Michael R

Are you mentally retarded? If you have even a basic understanding of the law, you know that Courtney Stodden's marriage is completely legal. Just because YOU don't like someone's marriage doesn't mean the government has a right to stop it. What gives you the right to break up a marriage that you don't approve of?

Michael R
Michael R

How dare she enter into marriage without getting our approval first. Then she has the audacity to actually enjoy sex? It's as if she believes in in FREEDOM or something.

We've got to do something before other young women think they can marry a man without getting our approval first.

/sarcasm.

karl
karl

English language*

Guest1
Guest1

@michael, Honestly I don't have a prob. with her tweets (as a matter of fact you should see my txt messages).  THE PROBLEM LIES IN THE FACT THAT THIS GIRL WAS 16, JUST RECENTLY TURNED 17!!! SHE ISN'T EVEN 18.  You sound like an old dirty pervert.

Drew
Drew

Lol! This sounds like Doug.

Boobsandabadge
Boobsandabadge

I hope it is a hoax. Sickening, if it isn't and Mom pimped out the kid to make a dollar.

Michael R
Michael R

Well then, her double entendres do not impress a certain member of the righteous mob that has formed outside her door. Let us all laugh at her feeble attempts to impress "karl."

Michael R
Michael R

Guest1 and Drew. I am not Doug. There is no reason to be upset about her age. Most 16 year olds are fully developed, capable of reproducing, and are in the most fertile years of their lives. Go to any nursing home today, and ask the women there how old they were when they married, and most of them will give much younger ages than the women today. You will also find that their attitude toward pregnancy was different than ours today. Here is an exact phrase that a woman used with me: "My maternity gown was a badge of honor."

Most states in the U.S. allow 16 year olds to marry, as long as a parent gives consent. New Hampshire allows 13 year olds to marry with parental consent. That so many states allow this suggests that people recognize that girls of that age desire to have sex, and even marry. Even now, courts are beginning to recognize that their approach to sexting is too harsh, with at least one state passing a law to decriminalize it, allowing teens to avoid child porn charges (Search "New Jersey decriminalizes Sexting").

I have far more respect for a young woman who holds herself to higher standards, and marries a financially stable man, than a teenager who flashes her friends on a webcam. The former is, in my opinion, more responsible and is making a decision that will have a much better impact on her future.  As an older man, Doug is probably far more mature than Courtney's peers. He is also financially stable, which will spare their marriage some of the stresses that other marriages face in those crucial first 7 years. If a sixteen year old is mature enough to have sex, she is mature enough to get married. 

I say God bless her.

Michael R
Michael R

It sounds like you have your mind made up that Courtney and Doug's relationship is "bad" and you just respond to anyone who defends it with the easiest defense you can muster.

Do some research. Not everyone thinks like you, as hard as that may be to imagine. Doug is but one of MANY older men who like younger women, and Courtney is just one of MANY younger women who like older men.

The only thing these two wonderful people did "wrong" (in the eyes of the media) is they got married. Their refusal to join the war against traditional values makes them an enemy of the Thought Police.

Guest
Guest

 Yeah you are totally Doug...no doubt lol

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