Miami Beach Jellyfish Issues a Warning to Beachgoers
|cc: Totoro's Expy|
Granted. I'll shut down your beach. Have you standing there like hands-across-the-sand. But I didn't ask to be beached. The ocean knows not pity. You see. Our lives don't last long. When the purple flag is waving at the lifeguard stand that is our banner, our Ole Glory, it's William Wallace time!! Fre-e-e-e-dom!!
So let us rest in peace. Tell those Pinecrest and Kendall kids to stop poking us with sticks. Because we're capable of being a real pain. Hell hath no fury like a jellyfish scorned. Trust me. Keep pissing me off. It will end with you peeing on yourself.
With wrath I'll strike down upon every British and German tourist I see. Duck-dive a wave and you'll find me on your face. You'll look like crew on The Flying Dutchman. Continue to poke and prod, and I will sting because I AM a bitch. Remember. Disrespect breeds contempt, even from the vulnerable.
|Flickr CC: BrainWare3000|
I will never understand humans. Why change what is naturally beautiful? You're so fake, Miami. God gave you a face yet you make yourself another. Understand the power in being yourself!! Look at me. Admire my naturalness. Then leave me alone.
Leave us all alone. Don't pollute our waters with oil. Don't crush our reefs with commerce and nosiness. And don't poke us with sticks when we reach our final destination!!
We don't want to sting you. It is just a natural defense mechanism. We are here. And then we are gone. Life is too fragile and delicate, just let us be. You might have seen me lately. We were here in droves and then left. You can blame Irene. Her off-shore winds blew us away. So you can have your beach back, for now. But be weary. We will return.
And when that happens, just leave us alone. That's all I want. To be left alone. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever stung someone out of defense? Yes, Miami. I think you can relate.
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