Seven Iconic Moments in Miami History Deserving of Statues

flickr via niXerKG

They don't call it the Windy City for nothing.

​We've soured a bit on public art in this city. What with proliferation of Romero Britto and all manner of silly animals being idolized like heathen gods. We blame Chicago for the latter, after all it was the "Cows on Parade" exhibit that started this whole craziness. Well, it looks like the Windy City is up to its old tricks again, and we shudder to think how copycat Miami will react.

An enormous Marilyn Monroe with iconic white dress blowing up from the sewer grate now stands erect in that city and we figure it's just a matter of time before the winds blow the idea southward to Miami. But this time we're ready. Here are six moments in South Florida history that deserve to be immortalized in statue form (and let's pray to avoid Manatee statues in the future).

We can forgive, but we won't forget. Especially with a statue.

​6. Jim Morrison Pulling Out His Pecker at Dinner Key
If the Governor of Florida can forgive the Doors' singer for drunkenly dangling his dong in front of thousands at Dinner Key in 1970, surely we can take the next step and erect (that's two erections in one post) a statue honoring his contribution (dare we say, endowment) to our cultural history. So what if the concert itself sucked balls.

Even cockroaches deserve statues.

​5. Tony Montana Sitting at Mount Cokemore Desk
Is there anything more Miami than the image of Al Pacino in a coke induced stupor with powder puffing out his nostrils in front of a pile of Colombia's finest. We think not. As, for a location, maybe along the MacArthur Causeway right before getting to South Beach.

4. McDuffie Riots
This one will be hard to simulate in statue form and even harder to look at. Maybe a bunch of cops standing over Arthur McDuffie beating him a la Rodney King. It's wouldn't be a pleasant reminder of our sordid history, but obviously police in South Florida, and the rest of us, need to remember lest we keep making the same stupid mistakes.

Bryan Norcross saved Miami.

​3. Bryan Norcross' Windswept Hair Guiding Us Through Hurricane Andrew
Yeah, yeah, we know. Norcross was in studio as he calmly led us through the most harrowing night in many of our lives, but we take artistic license to create a better effect for a statue.