OMG, Batwoman Is a Lesbian?!? Then We Know Who Her Top Five Villains Should Be

Categories: Books
batwoman.jpg
Photo by L-plate big cheese CC
Batwoman? No.
​Batwoman is back and she is no longer a second class citizen of Gotham City. The character, originally introduced in the '50s, was intended to be a romantic interest for Batman but the idea never took off, and she was eventually killed. DC Comics had introduced her to dispel the gay rumors about Batman and Robin that were alleged in the book, Seductions of the Innocent, by psychiatrist Fredric Wertham.

But, just ask Lady Gaga -- There's nothing wrong with loving who you are/Because he made you perfect, babe. And so, Batwoman (beat) is a lesbian.

The new Batwoman, who has had a supporting role in the Bat family since about 2006, is an ex-soldier, martial arts expert, and kick ass lesbian. Kate Kane had her series debut last year in a special #0 tease issue, and after several delays, her series is set to officially launch the #1 issue tomorrow. In honor of her coming out, Cultist has decided to list the villains we'd like to see this b.i.t.c.h. (Batwoman in total control of herself) go toe-to-toe with:


5. Peter Murphy Sanders AKA PMS
Peter Murphy Sanders is a goody-two-shoes gone bad. Once a promising plastic surgeon, he got sued for malpractice by a client who fraudulently claimed that he had touched her inappropriately. After losing his license and his Porsche, he becomes an alcoholic. On a bender one night, he falls down the stairs of his foreclosed mansion and hits his head, causing a disturbing division in his psyche. Thus, PMS, his evil alter ego is born.

lego bat figs.jpg
Photo by Levork CC
Batwoman? Right outfit, but still no.
4. Rocky Pokit AKA Pocket Rocket
This former boxer fought his way to the top of Gotham City's underbelly and now commands a huge gang of former boxers who wreak havoc wherever they go. He packs one hell of a punch, but fortunately, he doesn't have much stamina and runs out of energy pretty quick.

3. Harry S. Ment AKA Class Action Harry
Ment is a former lawyer who embezzled millions from his clients. He lived fast and loose and loved the ladies. One rainy night, drunk, and speeding through Gotham's city streets, he crashes into a tree and becomes horribly disfigured. No amount of reconstructive surgery could evern make him pass for a 5 and even though he's loaded with dough, he can't get any woman to look at him twice. He trolls Gotham's alleyways looking for innocent and unsuspecting women to help him get his groove back.

batwoman con.jpg
Photo by PopCultureGeek.com CC
Better, but still -- no.

2. Dr. Ann Heat AKA Dr. Heat
This mad scientist would serve the role that Catwoman does in the Batman comics. She's one hot mess. Batwoman won't know whether to punch her teeth in or invite her back to the Batcave for some hot lesbo action.

1. The Stroker
No one knows the Stroker's origins, how she came about, or even her natural hair color, she just showed up in Batwoman's life one day and won't leave. Armed with an IQ higher than Einstein's (no one knows the exact number), she can connive, manipulate, and cajole like nobody's business. One minute she's stroking your ego, the next minute she's hitting you over the head with a frying pan. She is also a master of disguise, constantly changing her hair, nails, and wardrobe, so you never know what to expect. When she's done being fake nice, she goes straight for the jugular. She plays games with your head better than a mother or wife can and she makes Paris Hilton seem low maintenance.

To see the real Batwoman in all her gloriousness, click here and here,


Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.


Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
0 comments

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Clubs

Loading...