Five and Half Inappropriate Couples Costumes for Halloween

Categories: Culture
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JohnCarlJohnson, Flickr
Harry, those aren't peppermint humbugs you're sucking on! Costume fail!
A Halloween costume can highlight your creativity, intelligence, or how well your breasts heal post-op. And when you're in a relationship, a cleverly themed couple's costume can show the world how solid of a match the two of you are. Take Heidi Klum and Seal.

Every year, the pair hosts a huge Halloween bash in which they set the bar pretty high for couples costumes. One year they dressed like Eve and the Apple, another as the Hindu goddess of death and destruction. And in 2009, when the two couldn't renew their vows in Mexico -- which they do every year -- because of the swine flu, they threw a trailer-trash-themed wedding in Malibu and dressed the part. Aw, shared elitist classism really keeps the flame burning!

Heidi and Seal seem to have their shit together, but it doesn't mean every couple does. We wouldn't expect Hitler and Ava Gardner -- or anyone who reads this blog -- to distinguish good taste from poor taste. So here are five inappropriate couples costumes for Halloween that everyone should avoid.

5. The Armstrongs from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Sure, this costume is tempting. For Taylor, all you'll need is a pair of inflatable lips. And as soon as you get those inflatable lips, all you'll have to do to get in character is start wearing them immediately. Don't worry if the lips don't separate -- there's no need to eat. And the sadness in your eyes will only amplify Taylor's true character.

As for Russell, just slap on a suit and then vanish -- like you're being completely edited out of a reality show -- every time someone acknowledges your presence. Make a blatant reference to his suicide and you'll be as trashy as that guy who dressed as the Crocodile Hunter with a bloody stingray's stinger in his chest a month after Steve Irwin died. But really, if you want to be an idiot and poke fun at something horrendous, watch a Twilight movie.

4. Arnold Schwarzenegger and the maid
Avoid this costume mainly because we don't want to see how your attempt at making the Governator or Mildred Beana sexy. And dressing up as Mr. Universe and wearing a French maid costume doesn't count. If you want to dress up as a sexy can of pinto or kidney beans, however, that's the kind of creativity we can get behind on the kitchen counter, in the living room, or Schwarzenegger's marital bed.


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