Ten Best Things to Do This Weekend

​How bad is the economy? It's so bad, little people (we Googled, it's the politically correct term for dwarves) are willing to get thrown through the air by drunk people -- as long as they get paid. Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, is trying to get Florida's dwarf-tossing ban lifted. He believes it's just another way Big Brother infringes on individual's rights to earn a living.

Although you probably don't get manhandled or have to wear a tiny cape and helmet, your own livelihood likely requires some level of humiliation so you can pay rent. Your only respite is the weekend -- two days to drink, nap, and freak out with such panache that you forget the week even has a Monday through Friday. Leave your dwarf-tossed blues behind you with the following ten weekend events.

Friday

• Symphony for the Dance Floor:  Miami Light Project (not to be confused with the Miami Darkness Project) hosts the grand opening of their Lightbox Theater with a performance of Symphony for the Dance Floor.

• Revenge of the Tiki III: Venture north of Dade and you'll find that Fort Lauderdale is steeped in rockabilly. This Saturday, hit up the Revenge of the Tiki III festival at Monterey Club for pin-up beauty contests and sailor tattoos.

• Spring Awakening: New World School of the Arts presents the controversial German rock musical, Spring Awakening, at the Colony Theatre. Look for our review on Saturday.

 
Saturday

• Second Saturday Art Walk: In the words of Phil Collins, can you feel it coming in the air tonight? High-season is upon us. That means this Saturday's art walk will be teeming with amazing new exhibits and the crowds to match. Check our guide.
  

• U.S. vs. Honduras Soccer: Trying to qualify for the World Cup, U.S. and Honduras match up at Sun Life stadium for some footie.

• Vampires vs. Zombies: Gold Coast Derby Grrls hosts vampires vs. zombies at the War Memorial Auditorium in honor of Halloween.

• Yuck: This London quartet bounds towards Bardot in the wake of the canceled Langerado  Festival. Their '90s rock draws comparisons from Teenage Fan Club to Elliot Smith.

 
Sunday

• Miami Carnival in the Gardens: Near-naked ladies, covered in feathers and glitter and gyrating to Soca? Must be Carnival.

• Das Racist: Hyperliterate hipster-hoppers rap about stereotypes and Michael Jackson at Grand Central.

• Stuffed and Unstrung: Don't expect the twee flirtation of Kermit and Miss Piggy at this puppet performance. The Jim Henson Company presents a whole new breed of puppets -- and these like to talk dirty.

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