Girls Gone Wild Girl and Ten Other Halloween Costumes Inspired by '90s TV

Categories: Culture
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Most women enjoy being a slutty pirate, a slutty princess, or a slutty slut for Halloween. But what about the real sluts? Is it really fair for them to get off work at the boobie bar, in their work tassels, and then throw on a headpiece made of boobs of different shapes and sizes and claim they're a slutty Lady Gaga for Halloween? We don't think so. That's being a lazy slut. And no one likes a lazy slut. Not even Lady Gaga. We don't care if you were born that way.

So this October 31, instead of serving us up the goods that we can plainly see the other 364 days of the year, we suggest that all sluts show off other assets -- like their imagination. Whip up a costume that's creative and nostalgic for the '90s. And don't worry -- we won't use literary, political, or scientific references that will hurt the man who pulls the strings inside your head. Read on for ten Halloween costumes inspired by '90s TV.

10. 90210's Matching Prom Dresses
Have you ever wanted to gag a frenemy to death with a peach pit? Do you have multiple personality disorder? Can your bitch stare turn even Shannen Doherty to stone? Now you can cat fight for Dylan McKay's affections with a Kelly Taylor/Brenda Walsh matching prom dress costume.

You and a friend need to don the same prom dress. One gal should be a blonde and the other a brunette. Both need lots of pearls, a corsage, and long black gloves. Hard-core 90210 devotees will recognize the reference if you can find an ultra-chic evening gown topped with a huge white satin bow that's the epitome of glamor. These gals rocked a style, which like most of the student body at West Beverly High, made them look like they were prematurely entering their 30s. And what high-schooler doesn't want to look like she's 30? Or stylistically inspired by Kim Richards.



9. Smelly Cat From Friends
Be Phoebe Buffay's rank muse with a simple cat costume, a long blond wig, a guitar, and some hippie embellishments like a tie-dyed peasant skirt, love beads, or pounds of marijuana. Extra points if you decide to finally answer the ponderous question "What are they feeding you?" by scarfing down and/or leaving remnants of garlic, sardines, onions, moldy cheese, and toxic waste all over your costume. And hey, if anyone gets all rashy or third-eye-y from rubbing up on the toxic waste you're wearing, you can always claim "it's not your fault."


8. Ren & Stimpy's Powered Toast Man
Only two things are needed for this costume: nut-huggers and one smoking bod. Oh, and a head made of toast. File this one under Costumes Under $10.


7. The Nurse From Animaniacs
Just dig up your nurse slut-o-ween costume from last year, become two-dimensional, and hang out with a couple of talking dogs that sometimes wear pants and sometimes wear shirts, but never a shirt and a pair of pants at the same time.




6. Felicity After She Cut Her Hair Off
If you're a willowy, pretty man with short, curly hair, no need to buy any kind of costume. Just walk around looking sad -- like you're about to get fired. If you become bored of this, claim you're Maris from Frasier.



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