Five Tips for Surviving Holiday Travel at MIA

miamism's Flickr

A long, lonely road.

​Holiday travel sucks. When you're traveling around Christmas, all the tired airport cliches come true: the screaming babies, the toddlers kicking the back of your seat, the rude TSA agents and the total and utter lack of personal space on any aircraft in operation. We're not going to sugarcoat it for you: If you are traveling through MIA in the next two weeks, you are going to regret it. In every circumstance. Fact.

But though you might not be able to completely avoid the murderous rage that all holiday travelers carry with them, tucked right beside their iPads and neck pillows, there are a few things you can do to reduce it. MIA is a vast, confusing world, but it's one we have explored to the fullest, studying its quirks and making note of its rare delights. Follow these tips, and you just might avoid getting arrested for losing your temper and telling security personnel exactly where they can stick that body scanner.

Whatknot

​Parking: Don't be a hero
We've all done it: Driven around and around and around the parking garage at the mall or the parking lot at Publix, looking for the perfect spot. At MIA, perhaps more than anywhere else, this is not a productive use of your time. We know you don't want to haul your many, many bags of luggage across the concrete any more than you'd want to haul your groceries. But we also know from experience that the combination of scanning rows of cars and spiraling from floor to floor in the Dolphin and Flamingo garages has the potential to drive a soul to madness. Madness, we tell you. You'll be pissed off before you even set foot inside. Just suck it up and drive to the ghetto spots on the top floor -- or, if you have cash to spare, just valet your damn car and be done with it. Which leads us to tip number two....

401k

​Throw money at it
We know, we know. Economic times are hard. You've already spent all your money on gifts for your family and friends. But still: Nothing solves problems at MIA more quickly than a wad of cash. Parking's a bitch? Throw money at it and valet your car. Carry-on bags too heavy to lug around? Throw money at it and check those clunkers. Terminal's a madhouse? Throw money at it and buy a pass to your airline's business lounge. Consider it an investment in your sanity.