The Ten Sexiest Super Bowl Commercials Of All Time

Rawr.

​At the end of this week, two hordes of men who have suffered, bled, and fought for five months will meet on a neutral site to bash each others' heads in, to test the limits of their physical strength and stamina, all in the name of sport, conquest, and achieving the status of legend.

But who cares about all that? There's commercials to watch!

America gets so crazy over Super Bowl commercials that one day, some genius will invent a reverse TiVo that only films commercials and skips all the manly stuff between. Don Draper's right. Sex sells. And it sells pretty damn well. The boundary of sexual modesty that once existed on television has been flushed down the toilet like a used condom, only to inevitably cram the America's metaphorical septic tank until the pipes burst. Our prediction? In the year 2022, the highest-rated Super Bowl advertisement will be one long, graphic porno selling Orbitz gum. "Got a dirty mouth?"

Until that fateful day, we'll look back at the 10 sexiest Super Bowl commercials.



10. Noxema - Farrah Fawcett and Joe Namath
The thing that made the "old days" so great was the judicious use of innuendo. This, right here, had to be the highlight of Joe Namath's career. The only thing that Joe Namath did that was more impressive than this commercial was drunkenly telling Suzy Kolber, "I want to kiss you" during a Monday Night Football game. Broadway Joe has still got it.



9. Pepsi - Cindy Crawford
Ah, when sex was fairly innocent. Let us get all "prudish old guy" for a second: A lot of the other ads on this list are just obscene. Not that we're complaining, exactly. It's just, well, could those other commercials even be filmed with children watching, let alone participating in the story? If this commercial were aired in 2012, Crawford, who is still hot, would have to rip off her top, pretend to suck off the can, and then the commercial would end with her going into the back room with the station attendant to earn some free gas.