Is Rick Scott The Real-Life Slender Man?

Run, kids! Rick Scott is behind you!

​We expected the Republican primary to be a horror show. But we didn't know it would come to this.

If you're an Internet dweeb (like, uh, this friend we have, yeah, that's how we know about this stuff), you've already heard the legend of Slender Man. He's an evil shape-shifter that first appeared on the web in 2009, haunting several photos of children posted on a SomethingAwful.com forum. He appears as a tall, thin, bald man in a suit, striking disturbing, unnatural poses every time he's captured on film. The stories say he's responsible for vanishing children, deadly fires, and worse. The YouTube series Marble Hornets documents the havoc he wreaks on his victims.

We thought it was just a scary story. Then we saw footage of Rick Scott at a Republican fundraiser, and we thought again.

The facts are these:

Appearance

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Slender Man is a tall, bald, abnormally skinny guy who always wears a suit.

Wikipedia

​Rick Scott is a tall, bald, abnormally skinny guy who always wears a suit.