Five Movies To Avoid on Valentine's Day, No Matter What Their Titles Say
Categories: Lists
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| Will Divine ever find true love? |
That's all well and good, except on Valentine's Day, when you're hoping for a film about lakeside picnics and endless devotion, but instead you get one about incest, mental illness, infectious disease, having sex with dead people, eating dog shit, and/or debilitating poverty.
To avoid that fate, check out our list of disturbing movies with misleadingly romantic titles so you know what not to watch this Valentine's Day -- unless your goal is making your sweetheart puke up those beautiful hand-dipped chocolate covered strawberries you made.
Happiness
The title of this famous late '90s dark (think obsidian dark) comedy suggests rainbows and butterflies, but delivers something closer to rejection, pedophilia, and shit storms. Happiness follows the intersecting lives of several outwardly normal, inwardly effed-up people. There's a seemingly perfect doctor and husband who's hiding an unhealthy fascination with his son's 11-year-old classmates, and also fantasizes about committing a massacre in a park. Then there's the elderly couple, who look like the quintessential portrait of lasting love -- except the husband wants to ditch his wife of 40 years and ride solo down to Florida. This film (though brilliant) should have single-handedly inspired the phrase "feel-bad movie." It's guaranteed to put you off sex for days.
Blind Date
This movie, directed by and starring Stanley Tucci, has a title with great romantic potential. What could be sweeter than a couple who wins the one-in-a-million game of falling in love at first sight during a low-expectations fix-up? But this is, well, not that. It's actually about a married couple that set up themselves up on staged blind date after staged blind date, torturing each other psychologically as they try unsuccessfully to get over the life-altering trauma that plagues them. This movie asks the question, "Is love worth the endless struggle?" and then it answers its own question: "No."
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