Freak Show: Celebrity Myths, Deformities and Birth Defects

Brian Bowen Smith

​Popular opinion suggests that celebrities are perfect, even superhuman. Take Angelina Jolie's flawless figure or Brad Pitt's Christ-like abs, for example. This Hollywood powerhouse pair is often heralded as the sexiest couple in the world.

But what if Brad had webbed feet or Angelina was a hermaphrodite? Would America still fantasize about a celebrity sex session with either of these two?

No -- because society is generally insensitive when it comes to people with deformities. The proof is in the TMZ pudding.

The celebrity gossip site recently reported that John Stamos has an outie belly button, writing, "He has one freaky deformity under his tailored suit, and isn't afraid to admit it." We say, good for you, Uncle Jesse. Way to embrace your awkward naval. In fact, good for all the celebrities who've unveiled their third nipples, gross toes and various physical birth defects. Check out our list.



Lily Allen's Third Nipple
Some call it strange; we call it kinky. Third nipples are neat. Check out Lily Allen's trifecta at the 2:26 mark.

​ George Takei's Disturbing Feet
Sulu claims his feet cramped up after running with a "lovely" pair of sneakers given to him by a fan, but we're not buying that his crooked toes are the result of bad Nikes.



John Henson's Vitiligo
That white spot on John Henson's head isn't a sign that's he's getting old. It's vitiligo, a skin condition that causes depigmentation. It's the reason Michael Jackson's skin lightened so much in the 80s.



Jamie Lee Curtis' Rumored X and Y Chromosomes
The Jamie-Lee-Curtis-is-a-hermaphrodite legend is as old as Activia's target demographic. She's never addressed the rumor, but whether she's a man, woman, or both, Curtis was sexy as hell in True Lies.

​ Vern Troyer's Tiny Hands
He's one Hollywood's biggest stars, but he's got tiny hands. We salute you, Mr. Troyer.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.