Kim Kardashian Could Take Miami -- But We'd Rather She Didn't
But Miami has already been taken! By Kardashians! We're specifically referring to 2009's Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami. And although Kim only appeared in a handful of those episodes (according to IMDB; we swear we didn't watch), we at Cultist firmly believe that Miami cannot -- and should not -- be taken again. Besides, didn't Kim and kolleagues just take New York?
Taking Miami is so three years ago. So instead of our fair city, we have a few suggestions for things that Kim and kompany can take instead.
Those who saw Kourtney & Kim Take New York (or, you know, existed during the fall) know that Kim filed for divorce from Kris Humphries a mere 72 days into wedded bliss. In an interview, Kim suggested that perhaps her "fairy tale has a different ending than [she] dreamed it would." So why not search for a new Prince Charming, 15 men at a time? Bonus: spending only a few minutes with each guy will help her ascertain who is good at speaking in sound bites.
Lawyers are expensive, and Kim has sadly already gone through two marriages. Throw in all her reality show contracts, her lawsuit targeting an Old Navy commercial featuring a look-alike, and any possible legal issues with her store, and that could add up to a lot of kash. So why not follow in the footsteps of her late father and become a lawyer? Who knows, maybe she can use her star power to convince the California Bar to let her change a JD into a KD.
Kim and her brother Rob have already starred as kontestants on Dancing With the Stars, so it's only a matter of time before the rest of the family gets featured. These classes could help give the Kardashians a leg up when it comes to the samba, cha-cha, or that war of the feet known as the Argentine tango. Plus, after finishing in 11th and second place respectively, Kim and Rob could help one of their siblings finally waltz away with the mirror ball trophy.