Miami Arts District Master Plan: Seven Additions We'd Like to See
|An artist's rendering of TSNDC's proposed plan|
There's just one tiny problem: There's no funding to make it happen.
No one's ponying up the dough to buy the land where all these changes would occur, making this an "aspirational" plan, according to the Miami Herald. (One could argue that also makes it an "aspirational" piece of news.)
Still, if imagining all the awesome things we could do in Miami with unlimited funds is the new planking, we want in. The TSNDC limited its dreams to parks and spendy spots. But when you see our fantasy plans for downtown, we think you'll agree that ours is the Future Miami to which we should all aspire.
|Kevin Dooley, Flickr|
We're sick of having to drive to Orlando or Tampa every time we need an adrenaline rush that doesn't involve drugs or risky sex. Our modest proposal: MiamiLand, a South Florida-themed amusement park. Just picture it: Coasters named The Hurricane and Chonga Express, live dolphin and alligator shows, churros and fried-plantain-on-a-stick at every food stand.
You can't revitalize downtown without revamping the city's public transit. Metrorail's limited scope has also limited its usefulness to downtown citizens. (And that time one of the cars fell off the rail can't have helped ridership.) We suggest scrapping Metrorail altogether, and installing instead a series of tubes, like on The Jetsons. Step inside, push a button, and get sucked directly into the place you want to be like an old-school drive-thru bank capsule. The technology for this must exist, and if it doesn't, we have unlimited dream money to fund the research until it does.
Talk about your green spaces! Har har. But seriously, folks. If there's one thing the hip foodies of today love more than local, organic produce, it's weed. A pot farm set in the middle of downtown is basically the holy grail of the sustainable food trend. Residents could even join a CSA, eagerly anticipating which new strains they'll receive every two weeks. We suggest setting this up directly between the new art museum and the Arsht for unmatched, enhanced cultural experiences.