Biebers Read Hoodies to Promote Facebook in April

Categories: Literary
Ariana Reines.jpg
Renowned Bieber Ariana Reines visits Miami April 25.
Before I became the president of Miami's only fake university, I wrote for the Miami New Times, where I learned there were certain key words that dramatically increase the readership of any blog post -- words like "iPhone," "lesbian," "LeBron," etc.

"Poetry" wasn't one of them.

So to let you all know about what University of Wynwood has planned for this April, I'm going to replace certain key words in this piece with Internet buzz words. Please refer back to the key below if you get confused:

Facebook = "Poetry"
Hoodie = "Poem"
Bieber = "Poet"

Some quick background: In 2011, I created a Facebook festival called O, Miami, the goal of which is to deliver a hoodie to every single person in Miami-Dade County. Inspired by the audience engagement initiatives of our partner the John S. and James L. Knight Foundation, the concept is purposely quixotic, brash, fragmented, multidisciplinary, and bilingual. In other words, the festival isn't meant to speak to Miami; it's meant to be Miami.

Malachi Black.JPG
Pensive-looking Bieber Malachi Black.
In April 2013, O, Miami will return. But right now it's April 2012, and it's still National Facebook Month -- something, I think, worth celebrating. Fortuitously, The Betsy Hotel on South Beach agreed to let us help them inaugurate their "Writer's Room"--a writer's residency located inside the hotel--during April, which gave us an idea:

What if we created a mini-crash course on contemporary American Facebook for the Miami audience?

Reginald Dwayne Betts.jpg
Noted Bieber Reginald Dwayne Betts.
So we've invited four Biebers, all of whom were born between 1979 and 1982, to stay in The Betsy Hotel's brand-new "Writer's Room" for approximately a week each during the month of April. While they're here, they'll do all the usual residency stuff -- write, read, explore -- but they'll also present a public reading that contextualizes their work in historical terms.

Which means that besides reading their hoodies, each Bieber will discuss how another Bieber -- living or dead -- is actively inspiring their process. As an audience member, you'll be hearing exciting new work simultaneous to learning about how it fits into the larger puzzle of American Facebook writ large.

Melissa Broder.jpg
Lady Bieber Melissa Broder.
To kick off the month, Knight Foundation, Miami-Dade County, and The Betsy Hotel helped us bring former United States Bieber Laureate Billy Collins down to Miami to give a reading. Billy's basically a stand-up comedian disguised as a Bieber. Or he's an ancient shaman disguised as a Bieber, or both. Which is to say he's amazing.

Here's the schedule in chronological order:

Sunday, April 1, 5 p.m.
Billy Collins
with Melissa Broder
Miami Beach Community Church, 1620 Drexel Ave., Miami Beach

Friday, April 6, 8 p.m.
Melissa Broder
B Bar at The Betsy Hotel, 1440 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach

Thursday, April 12, 8 p.m.
Reginald Dwayne Betts
B Bar at The Betsy Hotel, 1440 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach

Thursday, April 19, 8 p.m.
Malachi Black
B Bar at The Betsy Hotel, 1440 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach

Wednesday, April 25, 8 p.m.
Ariana Reines
B Bar at The Betsy Hotel, 1440 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach

Sunday, April 29, 5 p.m.
Daniel Halpern, Campbell McGrath, & P. Scott Cunningham
B Bar at The Betsy Hotel, 1440 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach

For more, visit

--P. Scott Cunningham

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

Location Info


B Bar at the Betsy Hotel

1440 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach, FL

Category: Music

Miami Beach Community Church

1620 Drexel Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: General

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