Eight Dyed Dogs We'll Soon Be Seeing in Miami

Categories: Lists
olympic_dog_zoom_zoom_flickr.jpg
Zoom Zoom, Flickr
Bad groomer. No gold medal for you.
Nothing in Miami is what it seems. Not the tans. Not the boobs. And soon, not the dogs.

This summer, Florida's ban on dying animals -- as in, coloring the fur of living animals, not just a ban on, like, fluffy bunnies with terminal cancer -- will be lifted. And extreme dog grooming, the nation's most flamboyant and terrifying grooming subculture -- a niche far more dark and sinister than even Groomer Has It -- will finally be free to invade Miami, which is already arguably the country's vainest city.

The results will be surely be spectacular. And sad. So very sad.

So prepare yourself for the influx of rainbow-hued perros coming soon to a dog park near you. The photos beyond the jump may give you nightmares tonight, but trust us -- it's time to toughen up. You'll thank us in a couple months when a standard poodle-sized unicorn trots down Lincoln Road and you barely bat an eye.

pink-dogs-ciarrai-flickr.jpg
Ciarrai, Flickr
The Solid Color
Ah yes, the classy approach to dying man's best friend. When it comes to fashion, it's always best to keep it simple and elegant. And bright, flaming pink.

dogforums_com.jpg
dogforums.com
A Rainbow of Torture
We don't care how down with marriage equality you are. Doing this to your pet will only hurt your cause.

Tags:

dogs, dying
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1 comments
Kool Pets
Kool Pets

Those, two "serengeti dogs" on page 3 happen to be my dogs, and the photos was taken in San Francisco, not Miami, and, no, my designs are not coming to Miami anytime soon. Perhaps, it would be best if you remove my pets picture at your earliest convenience.

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