It's Fleet Week! How to Have a Seaman in Your Bed by Sundown

Categories: Culture
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Let's go back a few years, to that classic Sex and the City episode, "Anchors Away." What drama did Carrie and company have to deal with that week? Who cared? All anyone could look at were the hot sailors, hot sailors, and more sailors taking over the Big Apple. Immediately, the nation's straight girls and gay guys became envious of any and all New Yorkers.

Here's the good news, Miami: South Florida has its very own Fleet Week, and it is officially under way. From today until May 1st, members of the U.S. Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard will be trotting all around Broward, having some fun while also raising money for nonprofits. Luckily, those hot men and women in uniform made their schedule public, giving you a weekend itinerary of stalking, snagging, and seducing one (or more) of your very own servicepeople.

But there's more to Fleet Week seduction than "howdy, sailor." We have some tips for you.

Head North
Yes, the boys (and girls) are in town! But the bad news for us 305ers is that all of their events are in Fort Lauderdale and beyond. So, put some gas in your car and get on I-95 N. And if you plan on hitting up the bars, remember: A $40 cab is much cheaper than a $3,000 DUI.

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Yep, all Marines.
Get In Shape
Here is your "duh" of the day: All of these heroes are in crazy shape. So much so, the troops are hosting a 5K run to benefit the Wounded Warrior Project. We hear anyone with a running streak on the streets is a freak in the sheets.

Look Your Best
You realize all of these people have seen nothing but each other for last 9 months to a year, right? The worst part of it all -- even if there is a hottie in their group, it's forbidden for them to knock boots. Really, what we are trying to say is that plenty of these sailors are looking for a piece of Florida meat. And if you're reading this article, you're probably wiling to be grilled. Ladies, go get your nails and hair did. Boys, make use of your neighborhood barber.



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3 comments
Madd_maxx92
Madd_maxx92

As the mom of an Airman, this article makes me absolutely sick, almost literally. I most certainly would not thank you, in any way. If you are the type of person who would actually do this, I would thank you to stay way from my son, and his fellow military men and women. You are NOT what I want for my child. This is some of the most irresponsible "journalism" I have seen so far. 

MiamiHeiress
MiamiHeiress

Wow, Serious Sally. We have bad news for you: There is a good chance he is currently in bed with a nice young gal. 

Submariner
Submariner

Hook ups are a fact of life. I'm a naval officer and while I agree that this topic may not be the classiest subject to discuss, I can say the after being on a ship for months on end, it is a beautiful sight to see lovely women, welcoming you ashore. Even if it just to have a drink together and talk. Even the smallest forms of attention are appreciated. However, if a woman had her heart set on taking a sailor home I can guarantee that it would be much appreciated. :)

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