Miami's Five Ugliest Public Art Eyesores

Categories: Art
britto-building.jpg
MigRodz, Flickr CC
Don't worry, Britto. You made the cut.
First, let us say this: We at Cultist count ourselves among the Miami art scene's biggest supporters. From its graffiti murals to the works in its galleries, Miami is, in our opinion, one hell of a beautiful place to live.

That being said, Miami is home to some ugly-ass art.

There's no accounting for taste where art is concerned, and here in the 305, our picturesque landscape is broken up by more than a few eyesore installations. These monumentally garish forms of "artistic" expression are placed strategically throughout the city -- some paid for with tax dollars, all incredibly pointless. Hey, at least there are a few fewer starving artists in the world, right?

Here are our city's top 5 worst artistic missteps.

portrait of a rock.jpg
dwntwnartdays.com
World's most expensive pet rock.
5. "Portrait of a Rock"
Poor Miami Dade College, the red-headed stepchild of Miami's educational landscape. But at least the city has attempted to grace its  various campus landmarks with art, presumably in order to up the school's prestige .

One of these "prestigious" pieces is dubbed "Portrait of a Rock." And, yeah, the name says it all; it's a large aluminum monstrosity that looks like, well, a giant rock. Creativity in all its glory, courtesy of Robert Lawrence Lobe. Personally, we'd rather have the real thing.


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18 comments
cr
cr

I'm not a huge fan of some of these pieces either but the author fails to convince that s/he is a qualified person to critique art, esp modern installation. I'm also curious, what makes the creepy guy @ Dadeland a "white dude"? He has on blue&white striped pants so we cannot see legs, his face is a mime mask painted black&white, and the hands are grey. 

Comandante
Comandante

The horrific and downright creepy Holocaust Memorial needs to go.  Thing has no business whatsoever on public land either.

Colleen Kelley
Colleen Kelley

Being a Public Artist myself and having to apply for these "calls for art", I see repeatedly that artists are not "selected" for these, but pre-chosen, (via back-scratching and payoffs by more well known conglomerate artists.) These artists are multi-million $ corporations! They should not be receiving public monies!!!

Miami-Dade's Art in Public Places needs some house cleaning. Let's gather the troops, Miami Artists, and rally for taste and aethetics. Miami is a maturing city with rich a cultural history. We need to fight for defining that in our art!!!

Tiff
Tiff

i love britto! you guys suck :(

Bagel Lover
Bagel Lover

the holocaust memorial is horrific and should be transplanted to boca

Gina M
Gina M

I have to disagree. Art different colors for different taste so there is no such thing as ugly art, What may be ugly to you is beautiful to someone else.

Rachaele
Rachaele

Can someone please explain to me why that massive naked man sculpture is taking up so much space in Mary Brickell Village??? It's gaudy, tasteless, and clutters up an area that could have been used for outdoor dining, musical performances, and farmers markets. You know, things that actually contribute to Miami's culture. That statue is so out of place.

Farah
Farah

the fat one by bayside?

molly simms
molly simms

Again with the Britto hate....u losers need to stop.

Sunnieskies
Sunnieskies

I agree 100000000% on the #1 spot.  Hideous!

michael wind
michael wind

no 1 is old delapidated half demolished bay harbor inn as you enter bay harbor idlands from bal harbor,otherwise named gaza hotel,uder watcfull eye of corrupt code compliance,somebody is getting shmeared,investigate that one....

Jenny867
Jenny867

 britto is better than you wynwood hipster loserseat it eat good

Fat Hand
Fat Hand

Again with the home run sculpture. I cannot disagree more. Like Lebowski's rug, it really ties the park together.

Tacos_rule
Tacos_rule

I'm shocked to not see the hideous Subi mural in downtown!! On 14th st I think. With all the people with the mirrors on their heads! Wtf is that? And more importantly why!??? What have my retinas ever done to Subi?

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