Dear Skrawberry, I'm Dating a Married Man and I Need Help!
I need help. Okay, I have been talking to this married man. I didn't know he was married at first, and once I found out I continued to see him. Then he started to pressure me about threesomes with another girl. Is that normal? He said everyone does it nowadays, and for me to grow up. Also, he says he loves me and all of that, but every time he talks about coming into town he says his homegirl is flying in with him. WTF is that about? It seems as if he has gotten bored with me, or lost respect for me because I act more like a wife, I guess, when he already has one of them. What can I do to keep his attention? He normally does threesomes, so I feel me doing that wouldn't help the situation. I definitely need your help.
Girl on the Side
First of all, you with a married man. That's your number one fuck-up!
Secondly, you choose to continue seeing him, even after you know he has a wife. If he's cheating with you, on his wife, what makes you think he is gonna be faithful to you? You got yourself a married Casanova. How can a married man love you knowing he have a wife at home, probably even a whole family?
Get over the fact that he claim to love you. Those are just words to get you to do whatever it is that he want. And when he say he's coming into town, best believe, nine times out of 10, he's referring to his wife as his "homegirl." I guess some men think referring to their wife as "homegirl, my people," etc., will make them feel better and not think of the fact that they are, in fact, married!
Maybe he is bored with you. If he wanted you to be all wholesome, he might as well be with his wife instead of being with you. He already got in-house, so what's your reason for trying to be a saint for him? Save that for your own husband (when and if you get married). Most men cheat for the thrill. Why stay with a mistress if the thrill is gone? He hasn't lost respect for you -- you are trying to be his wife, and he already have one. If you don't want to do the threesome, don't do it! Because if you not into it and you only doing it for him, that's when the respect will be lost, because now you don't have a mind of your own. Why do something -- or anything -- for anybody that you don't feel comfortable with doing? You will never have his attention, you are only there for his convenience, because at the end of the day, he only call you will he can.
If you gonna stay with him, do it because you want to. But I'm pretty sure you are unhappy and lonely. Baby, you can be unhappy alone, instead of being in a one-sided relationship with a married man who cant tend to your needs because he's giving all that energy to his wife! I'd rather be unhappy and single if that's the case! Baby, he will never be your man, so trying to please him is a waste of your time and effort. Save that energy for finding a man of your own who you know may someday be your husband. Nothing good is ever gonna come out of dating a married man. They took a vow before God. Yeah, we can say his heart wasn't in it when he said YES, but at the end of the day, he still married her and made her his wife. Leave that man where he at and find a man of your own, because he's using you to his advantage. And probably because you won't give him what he want, he is letting you down -- slowly but surely.
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