Memorial Day Weekend: Seven Ways to Tell the Locals From the Tourists
|Our time has come|
In situations like these, telling the tourists from the locals becomes important. How else are you going to know to whom you can speak your native Spanglish, or make sure that hookup you met at Wet Willie's is just a one-night stand, and not a source of awkward run-ins for the next several months? Unfortunately, telling the tourists from the locals also becomes more difficult during Memorial Day weekend, because only the most dedicated party people (read: locals who are just as crazy as the tourists) venture onto the beach.
So we've compiled this handy guide to the differences between the hoards of tourists that flock South for the weekend and Miami Beach locals who've rarely strayed west of West Ave. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Telltale Sign #1: The Booze
Tourists stagger the streets armed with 32-ounce frozen daiquiris.
Locals know better than to spend $20 on a drink that'll melt in the Miami sun in .37 seconds. Flasks, 40s in paper bags, and water bottles filled with Svedka are the traditional local options.
Telltale Sign #2: The Skin
Tourists, by Sunday morning, can be spotted hobbling down Ocean Drive, their virgin skin seared medium-well by the tropical sun; their red faces glowing like beacons in the night.
Locals' leathery skin is unaffected by the blazing rays after years of nearly nude sun-worshiping.