#1001MiamiWaysToDie: The Best Tweets, And Our Suggestions

By Hannah Sentenac Wed., May 16 2012 at 2:09 PM

Categories: Lists

Logan Fazio

Merely existing in Miami during Memorial Day Weekend, for example.

We'll admit it. Watching 1,000 Ways to Die on Spike is one of our favorite, slightly sick pleasures. So many wacky, wickedly stupid ways to star in your own snuff film, so little time!

In that same morbid vein, we were pretty stoked to see #1001MiamiWaystoDie pop up as a trending Twitter hashtag yesterday afternoon. Looks like it originated with our favorite Cuban puppet, the infamous Pepe Billete, who has a habit of making things like this go viral. #comemierdainmovietitles, anyone?

From genuinely dangerous disasters (hurricanes, driving) to improbable hypothetical situations (morphing into a certain detested sportscaster), it turns out in Miami, the Grim Reaper waits around every corner. Luckily, he's actually a hilarious jokester.

Here are a few of our faves, courtesy of Pepe and some other witty locals:

@pepebillete: Actually try to keep up partying with a Colombian family on New Years.

@pepebillete: Drive home after buying that used Honda in Little Havana.

@pepebillete: Be black and talk back to a cop on the beach during Memorial Day Weekend.

@SobeProbz: Honk the horn at someone.

@stevensnotcool: Spending your money on pastelitos when your mom really gave it to you to spend it on santeria gear.

@sportsoompa: Be Skip Bayless.

@QueRicoMeng: Forgetting it is memorial day weekend on the beach.

@jennifer_gonz J-walk on 49th Street in Hialeah.

@ctraffik: Hurricane __(insert name here)__.

And a few additions from the Cultist crew:

Request a decaf colada.

Ride your bike. Anywhere.

Play Jimmy Buffett on the jukebox at the Deuce.

We get the warm fuzzies just thinking of all the special ways to meet your maker in the Magic City. Got any good ones to add?

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.