Magic City Episode Seven: Like I Love Lucy, But With More Boobs

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Danny and Stevie brawl!
There are a lot of wheels spinning on this week's Magic City, which means the show has a lot of ground to cover, plot-wise, and little room for some of its other signature flair. Like non-stop nudity and banging.

Oh sure, there's a moderate amount of nudity in this episode. But at this point Starz has just conditioned us to view anything less than a full-on Roman orgy as quaint as The Waltons, which we are to understand was a TV show from the '50s that didn't feature constant nudity.

Danny is pissed upon learning about Stevie and Lily's affair, so he confronts his brother on the beach and slugs him in the face. "Dude, you promised to tell me what a vagina feels like!" Danny yelled. Not really; he wound up preaching about how Stevie could get killed and hurt the family and how dry humping is totally not a lame thing for a man in his 20s to do. Stevie tells his brother that he'll handle it.

Ike is still trying to get Meg to buy The Butcher's shares of the hotel, but isn't having much luck because Meg's financial advisers aren't complete morons. To make matters worse, White Dude: District Attorney brings in Ike to look at all the dead bodies he's connected to. The DA tells Ike that he is actively looking for Judi Silver and that either he or Ben Diamond would be Ike's downfall. Speaking of Ben, he has a scene where he tries on some pretty boss kimonos, not even caring that the copious amount of bodily fluid the Butcher deals with daily would certainly ruin the silk.

In the weekly "how much more depressed can the writers make Vera?" storyline, Vera tells Ike she wants to return to dancing and can't have a baby. Ike refuses to let her, just like that episode of I Love Lucy, if Ricky was also dealing with a psychotic business partner and a son that sticks his penis in anything that moves. (Note to self: Pitch Starz! an I Love Lucy reboot.) Further embarrassing Vera, Meg shares a moment with Ike's daughter, who clearly likes Meg more than her step mom. Stay strong, Vera. You're only a few years away from doctors widely prescribing Lithium to anyone who asks!

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Vera: unable to win at anything...
Meanwhile, Stevie confronts his blackmailer, Diver Dave, who lives in a tiny boat shack and yells homophobic slurs for whatever reason. C'mon dude, we know it's the '50s and all, but you know that Stevie isn't gay, you have erotic photos with him and a lady. We guess that Diver Dave could be familiar with bisexuality and sexual identity being non-binary, but he's a scummy blackmail dude who lives on a boat shack. It's doubtful he has had time to read the Kinsey report. He wants 20,000 dollars from Stevie or Ben Diamond gets the photos. But in a fit of bright thinking, he tells Ben that the blackmailer is the guy skimming money from the Miramar. And sure enough, "Diver Dave" takes a "dive" off the roof of the Miramar. Do you understand? He was thrown off the roof, cracked his skull open, and died in a fashion that befit his nickname. Pretty ironic, huh?

Ike has a big ol' meeting with Ben Diamond, who at this point is pissed that the Senator from the previous episode seems not to have gotten his bribe money. He issues his weekly threat to Ike, demanding his money back. Breaking under pressure, Ike begs Meg for $100,000, which she does not give him. Ike crumbles, revealing that he sold his children's inheritance to Meg's father to buy the Miramar's land. Meg looks sad, even though it's not her fault that Ike is a terrible businessman who is driving his hotel into the ground. That's called "empathy," we think.

The episode closes with White Dude: District Attorney barging in to a hotel room, finding Judi Silver hard at work. She is now a redhead. "Does the carpet match the drapes?" he asks her. Just kidding, women aren't allowed to have pubic hair on premium cable. See you next week!

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