Miami's Top Ten Cinco de Mayo Fiestas

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Cinco de Mayo is an American holiday. Not true, you say? Consider this: While we gringos spend May 5 chugging margaritas and ironically donning sombreros, most Mexicans commemorate Cinco de Mayo by doing, well, not a whole lot.

In fact, most Americans will go through Cinco de Mayo believing that they're celebrating Mexico's independence day, when in reality it's a minor holiday commemorating the Mexican army's 1862 victory over France. But don't let that stop you from your "one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor" routine. "Cinco de Drinko" falls on a Saturday this year (another reason to celebrate big), so it's time for Americans to do what we do best -- exploit the shit out of another country's culture for the sake of partying and getting drunk.

Here are the top 10 Cinco de Mayo parties going on in Miami.

via Rocco's Tacos

10. Cinco de Mayo Fiesta's at Rocco's Tacos & Tequila Bar
We know what you're thinking. Fort Lauderdale is not Miami. But for the love of red, white, and green, stop whining and experience other urban areas outside of Miami-Dade. They'll have drink specials, performances by the Pancho Villa mariachi band, multiple DJs, tequila pourings, and a mustache contest.
Go Because: You have an ironic mustache good enough to win a contest.
Who'll Be There: With tequila pourings, we wouldn't doubt we'll spot Lil' Jon with his pimp cup.
Noon - 3 a.m.,1313 E Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-524-9550

via Rosa Mexicano

9. Festival de Cinco de Mayo at Rosa Mexicano
This outdoor fiesta includes guac and tacos on-the-go, live music, prizes, and giveaways.
Go Because: Tacos on-the-go from Taco Bell are so passé.
Who'll Be There: Party hoppers in need of a fuel-up.
12 p.m.-12 a.m., 900 South Miami Ave., Miami, 786-425-1001