The Ultimate Hurricane Party: Your Guide to Staying Drunk and Happy This Storm Season

Wikipedia

The view from above.

Hurricane season is officially upon us. And just because we've lucked out every year since '05 doesn't mean we'll escape 2012 unscathed. In fact, Mother Nature is probably jonesing to hit us with a little corporal punishment.

As a South Floridian, you've no doubt been inundated with how-tos on storm preparedness -- so we won't re-hash those details. You know how to stay alive by now. Instead, we're here to advocate preparedness for another, equally important tempest task: the hurricane party.

The stated purpose of this (mostly) Southern tradition is in large part to consume all perishable goods. But that's not the real reason people come together in scary storms. Is there any better reason to party than the prospect of impending doom? Frankly, there's no better time to booze it up and bond with friends than during a disaster when no one has to work and the Internet is down.

Remember: If the city says evacuate, screw the party and head for the hills. Otherwise, read on for your how-tos when it comes to carrying out the ultimate hurricane bash.

Theis Kofoed Hjorth Flickr

You're cordially invited to celebrate the storm.

1. Get your plan in order before the cyclone strikes.
After all, the cell towers will likely go out, communication will cease, and people might resort to looting and debauchery before you can rally your troops. So make sure all invitees are aware of your plan in advance. Old-school pen and paper invites with all the info aren't a bad idea. That way, should the power cease, instructions will still exist and your party guests will know what to do sans smartphones. And remember to keep the guest list exclusive. Not everyone is tolerable after a couple days in close proximity, particularly without running water for showers.

2. Choose a safe, comfy spot to host your shindig.
Hurricane shutters are a plus, and sleeping bags and air mattresses aplenty will suffice if peeps get stranded. Do make sure to check off those handy-dandy hurricane preparedness lists (non-perishable food, bottled water, flashlights, candles and matches, trash bags, battery operated radio, wee wee pads if pets are involved, etc.). Get the nuts and bolts in order and move right along.

3. Make it a potluck.
Instruct guests to bring the important items along with them: water, booze, their own soon-to-spoil frozen and refrigerated grub. A grill is a must. Stock up on coolers, too, to keep those foodstuffs viable longer (and to maintain ice cubes for your cocktails as long as possible).