Take Cover! The Best and Worst Places to Ride Out a Hurricane in Miami

Categories: Culture
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When it comes to hurricanes, planning ahead is key to avoid being blown into oblivion like so much loose shrubbery. Of course, it's crucial to check off those hurricane preparedness lists, stock up on non-perishables, and plan your hurricane party. But the simplest matter of all is where you land when the hurricane hits.

You'd be wise to avoid certain spots during the season, and instead gravitate toward other, more desirable locations to ride out a storm. This could be a busy season, so we've compiled a list of the best and worst places to get stranded when those winds start a-blowing.

The Best Places

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Crafty Girly Flickr
4. City shelters
Let's address the most obvious option. When facing gusting winds and blinding rain, city hurricane evacuation centers are the most sensible places to seek shelter. After all, we can count on our government to keep us safe and sound, right? Riiiight?

mak506 Flickr
Batten down the hatches.
3. A well-fortified home
A hurricane-proof home stocked with friends and loved ones is by far your most comfortable solution. These situations necessitate hurricane party preparations. Of course, this is applicable only if the storm doesn't get too ugly; if the city says evacuate, you gots to go. But there aren't many more appealing ways to spend a washout than with your posse. If you don't have hurricane shutters on your own home, better make friends with someone who does.

Let it ride while you liquor up.
2. Liquor store
Preferably a large one, with foodstuffs. Total Wine's a pretty good option. Should a storm hit hard, there are few places better to be than a fully stocked purveyor of alcohol. You'll have snacks to nosh on, and enough beer, liquor and wine to ride out an apocalypse. Not to mention plenty of space for a sleepover.

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Adrian Salgado Flickr
1. Strip club
Think about it: There are no windows to shutter, booze galore, and if you can get past the idea of snoozing on a giant collective semen stain, you might even be able to catch a few Z's in the back room. And if the storm really does flatten all of Miami, at least you're going out surrounded by naked pole dancers.

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That anti hialeah comment is racist and unnecessary

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