The Nine Greatest Father Figures in Miami, in Honor of Father's Day

Categories: Comedy
Jimmy Johnson: Ultimate Miami Dad?

Father's Day is this weekend, which means you should probably start prepping yourself for the same, awkwardly stilted conversation with your dad you always have -- the one where he thanks you for getting him The Best of Bob Seger and then you discuss the weather.

But don't just honor your own Pops this weekend. Our fair city has a swath of strong patriarchs that have shaped our identity, and they too deserve our recognition.

We've made the case for some of the most important fathers of Miami -- strong, upstanding, and most importantly, easily mockable guys who've guided this town with their own unique brand of paternal wisdom. So while you're listening to Linkin Park and wondering why daddy never told you he loved you this weekend, take heart: These Miami dads are just a stone's throw away.


Uncle Luke
Sure, he may be just an "Uncle" to you, but Luther Campbell is undoubtedly the father of Miami hip-hop. Starting as a raucous hell-raiser in his youth, he's eventually maturing into an elder statesman for our city. He's the kind of dad who you can trust with your problems; you can't faze him with whatever wild situation you've found yourself in, because he's been there too. It's a story practically begging to be made into a network sitcom. Get on it, ABC! It'll go perfect with Modern Family!

Michael Bay
The Transformers director is a divisive figure in the film community, but he is a proud and diligent Miami papa, still dropping by to shoot his blockbusters in our hood. He's like the dad who married young, had a kid, and quickly divorced. The one who tries hard, perhaps too hard, to be the hip father. He'll sneak you a beer and not comment when a Playboy goes missing from his vast collection. But he may go too far, not only taking you to your first strip club, but also guiding you to the girls who give the best dances.

Pat Reilly
Sure, Eric Spolestra is the Miami Heat's coach, but is there any doubt who their real father is? Pat Reilly was the one who brought the Big Three together, and the one who has been trying to hold them all together. Let's put it like this: If, God forbid, The Heat doesn't come home with the NBA championship, who do you think is going to be the one to stick around? That's the sign of a true daddy.


Jimmy Johnson
The Hall of Fame football coach is your classic "worked his ass off his whole life so he's going to enjoy retirement" dad. He's the one who coached Miami Hurricane Football to national prominence and dominance. It's his standards The U strives to live up to, and you want to make him proud. Jimmy Johnson gave you everything you've got, so you can forgive him if he chooses to wear the classic fatherly Hawaiian shirt every day. He's earned it.

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