Skrawberry's Sex Tips For the Poorly Endowed

Categories: Skrawberry Jam
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You know Miami stripper Skrawberry for her rap skills, her political commentary, and of course, her sexy moves on the pole. Now, you'll also know her for her sound advice. In this weekly column, Skraw responds to readers' questions about life, love, and beyond. Got a question for Skraw? Hit her up at skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com.

Dear Skrawberry,

Lemme start off by saying that I am a big fan, and I hope you can give me some help. I'm a guy who loves women. I mean I LOVE women, I love to flirt, I love to play around, and obviously I love sex. I'm not bad looking, but I have one big thing that's holding me back. Well, one not so big thing. I'm just gonna put it out there: I'm small. In the dick department. So now that's out there.

I know they say size doesn't matter, but that's a damn lie. But there's not too much I can do about it, really, so I'm wondering, from a woman's point of view: What can I do to make up for it?

Signed,
Publish My Name And I'll Sue You


Dear Sue,

Don't be gullible now. They say it ain't the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean ... but then again, a lil' dick man probably said that! The size of the boat always matters; if it's bigger, you can fit more people on it. Even if that boat don't move, it's big and everybody on it's havin' fun! 

First off, you need to try some remedies to make your penis bigger. I almost always recommend a penis enlargement pump. Get a good expensive one -- they most certainly work! Have you ever tried penis enlargement pills? Or even the natural remedy: pull on it until it hurt. Also, if you are not circumcised, that could be your problem. Forget about saving the skin to make it look longer, 'cause when a woman look at it, we think it's grotesque. Go get circumcised. And if you've tried everything else, go get surgery.

If you don't want that, you better invest in some dildos and other sex toys. And learn how to give head -- you better get a A+ in the head test! While giving head, you better learn how to finger the pussy perfectly. The dildo will come in handy when and if you cum before your partner -- just pull out the toys. (Use silicone -- it has a more natural feeling, especially if you wrap it in a hot towel first.)

And if all else fails? Trick on a bitch! That is always a panty puller. Trick on her enough and she might fall in love. Money can't buy love, but it damn sure come with a panty contract. As long as you spendin' money, your partner won't have another choice but to fuck you whenever you call.

And as a matter of fact, spend money on yourself, too. Make these bitches think you got the biggest dick in America. Have some swag about yourself! Be full of confidence. Smell good. Know how to talk. Know what to say, and when to say it. Have some nice teeth and a fly-ass smile. You'll be wheeling in all the panties. And when you do, be sure you know how to give some head.

Skrawberry

Email your questions for Skrawberry to skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com. Follow Skrawberry on Twitter @Skraw_Berry.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

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9 comments
Walken Christopher
Walken Christopher

Thanks for all the great information and I am really hoping you can help me with this question, it’s something a lot of my friends wonder, why do women fake orgasms? Is it that hard for women to get off and what if anything can I do to help a woman who is not having the most orgasms or any at all. It makes me feel bad for them and if it’s my fault (I don’t think it is) I want to do better so she’ll cum more. http://digg.com/newsbar/Lifestyle/sex_advice_why_do_so_many_women_fake_orgasms  This article is helping us to improve men and female sex technique.

DonnaP
DonnaP

 Joke's on you if you buy a pump. Not for enlargement welcome to reality poor chap. Read to get the skinny on your skinny dick.

Alldeezhaterz
Alldeezhaterz

ur just sayin that cuz u ain't circumsized either!!

Hugh Intactive
Hugh Intactive

 It's not extra, it's standard equipment. And where it gets put, nobody does see it.

Twin
Twin

Nobody wants to see that extra skin...SORRY lol

Hugh Intactive
Hugh Intactive

She is certainly an idiot if she thinks cutting (the best) part off will help someone worried about his size. And if she thinks the whole, complete, natural penis most men in the world have is grotesque, the problem is hers, not ours.

The_Truth
The_Truth

Umm yo dick must b smaller than his. Stfu lil dick. Lol lol lol he done tried all pumps n that dick still small. Go ahead n save yo 100k. Lil dick

Mr.D
Mr.D

haha dude got all the facts for a lil dick dude n gone get mad at Skraw.... smh lame ass dude

Null
Null

Smaterthanskrawberry you must have a small dick too cus it seem like you've done your research in all the area mentioned LMAO !!!!!!!!!!!

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