The Amazing Spider-Man: How Whiny Is Spidey This Time?

Andrew Garfield: Mid-level whine.

See The Amazing Spider-Man's Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone Talk Responsibility and Their Roles.

According to Spider-Man movies, the greatest triumph that Spider-Man ever achieves is finding it within himself to arachnid up every day. Has any other hero ever moped so much about being gifted with superstrength, -agility, and -love interests? This from a guy who can swing on his wrists' magic ejaculate (Spider-Man one through three), invent web-shooters using his super-brain (The Amazing Spider-Man), and design and tailor so adroitly that his sticky-finger powers somehow work through the gloves of his homemade luge suit (all Spider-Mans ever, including The Electric Company)?

Here's how the new Spider-Man compares in whininess to his predecessor.



Spider-Man (2002)
Whininess Level: Elevated
"No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, the ones I love will always be the ones who pay," Spider-Man moans just before spurning a proclamation of love from the woman he has pined for his entire life.
Spidey Would Prefer to Be: A professional wrestler
Worth Noting: Stan Lee and Bruce Campbell cameos would become a series hallmark, but after this, the producers forgot Macy Gray.



Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Whininess Level: Peak human
Inexplicably clumsy, Spider-Man loses a fight with a broom closet in the opening reel. Later, he spurns another loved one -- this time, a handshake with his dead uncle in a car in heaven. Then, after not bothering to save a civilian being beaten by thugs, Peter woos the now-engaged love interest he rejected last time by announcing, "Punch me, I bleed."
Spidey Would Prefer to Be: A pizza boy
Worth Noting: Even when he deigns to be Spider-Man, his mask comes off with the frequency of Paz de la Huerta's top.