The Real Housewives of Miami, Episode One: It's All About Elsa Patton

Last but not least, there's Adriana de Moura. Our favorite Brazilian bombshell seems to be doing her usual thing: dealing art, being engaged, having the body of a twenty-something, etc. But her scarf-loving fiancé has decided they should live on a boat. No, not occasionally take a week or two in the Bahamas. Literally pack up boxes and yacht around Miami. Um, no thanks. We're getting seasick just thinking about it -- and Adriana seems to feel the same.

The wives' first group meeting of the season goes down at the ultra chic Smith & Wollensky. What bad can happen there? Apparently, a lot. Marysol is giving Lea the stinkeye. Joanna bitches at her sister to perk the hell up and stop crying over a text. Adriana watches the whole scene like she just saw a ghost.

But none of that compares to Elsa, who once again faints on the scene. What is it with Elsa, fabulous parties, and fainting? Thankfully, she is OK. God forbid she wasn't; we would all be calling in to work today for emotional distress.

Final verdict: We have faith in season two. Elsa has a starring role, there's already plenty of drama brewing between the women, and fame whore Thomas Kramer is yet to enter the mix. There seems to be a trip to the Bahamas coming up, too, and let's be honest -- none of the housewives ever travel well. Plus, you know we've gotta stick around to see Adriana's backhand meeting Joanna's face.

It's official, we are hooked.

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