The Real Housewives of Miami, Episode 2: Dr. Mama Elsa Patton's Love and Life Lessons

We're here to talk Real Housewives. But before we begin, did you catch Watch What Happens Live with three of the ladies after last night's episode? So much juice: Marysol is 45! Lea had a facelift! It's becoming essential viewing.

See also:
- Smoking Hot Photos of Young Elsa Patton
- Real Housewives of Miami, Episode One
- Elsa Patton Collapses at Real Housewives Premiere Party

OK, moving on.

In season two of Real Housewives of Miami, Alexia Echevarria has it made. She's a guest star this year, but she still got to be part of the first scene when things go down at Ana Quincoces's house. Is she only going to show up for the crazy bits? Because we wish we were that lucky.

Per usual, Alexa and Ana start the party by talking smack about Dr. Karent Sierra and her telenovela beau, Rodolfo Jiménez -- both of whom show up half-naked and covered in rose petals in the next scene.

Karent and her lover go for a massage that consists of honey, rose petals, a Spanish-speaking masseuse, and "going to the moon." Uh, okay. There, the subject of marriage arises, because what's more relaxing than major life decisions? The Dr. herself is clearly dying to get married. Her V-neck wearing boyfriend, on the other hand? Not so much. Karent, of course, smiles thorough the whole damn thing. Her mouth is like a 24-hour neon billboard advertising her dental skills. We're not sure whether we love it or hate it yet.

From there, we head to the wonderful life of Lisa and Lenny Hochstein, where Lisa decorates her husband's office in nothing but photos of one another. You'll recall that Dr. Leonard is the "Boob God," and his wife is his favorite test subject. We can't tell whether Lisa is 24 or 44, from her Bruce Jenner-like face. But you can't deny the girl is fit. Too tight of a hug and that might be the last we see of Mrs. Hochstein.