Skrawberry's Guide to Forgiving Your Cheating Boyfriend
You know Miami stripper Skrawberry for her rap skills, her political commentary, and of course, her sexy moves on the pole. Now, you'll also know her for her sound advice. In this weekly column, Skraw responds to readers' questions about life, love, and beyond. Got a question for Skraw? Hit her up at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I was wondering your take on boyfriends who cheat. I've known my boyfriend for over 10 years and we have been together for four. Found out last year he cheated on me. Went through a horrible breakup and apologies and him promising he wasn't thinking straight and it won't ever happen again.
But I wanted to know your opinion on cheaters. Can they really change, or is it really true that once a cheater always a cheater?
Hoping Change Is PossibleHCIP,
Honestly, there is no proper way to answer this question. There is no right or wrong answer. Yeah, the "once a cheater, always a cheater" saying might sound good, but some men do change. And if they don't change, they just aren't ready to.
If your boyfriend was deeply hurt by you guys' break-up, and he's a man of his word, give him a chance. It's OK to forgive and move on. If he hasn't given you any reason not to believe that he will keep his promise, why not? But I'm not telling you to forget what he did. You're a woman, and you might need to bring it back up in a argument for validation! LOL!
If that man truly loves you, and shows his deepest regret, why not move past it -- especially if it only happened once, that you know of? Move on. Stop thinking that you are punishing him because you won't let go or the past. Trust me, he's sleeping good at night, and if you don't tighten up, he'll be dreaming of his next girl -- so your dwelling on the past is only punishing you.
I honestly believe cheaters can change. Especially if that cheater see potential in his mate and wants to make it work -- and most importantly, if his heart is in the relationship. Some men cheat because they want to; some men cheat because the woman is so insecure with herself that she allow any foolishness that her man deals her just to keep him; and some other men cheat because they lack something at home. But you asked what do I feel on cheaters, and these are my answers. I do feel like some men can change and only want to be with that one woman!
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