The Real Housewives of Miami, Episode 5: Elsa Returns! And Karent Needs to Chill

Here's a handy summary of the first 20 minutes of Real Housewives of Miami: Marta Krupa cried, Ana Quincoces attempted to teach Joanna Krupa to cook, Karent Sierra and her telenovela boy toy got creepy and Lea Black went on the news. Hey, not every scene can be groundbreaking, right?

See also:
- Last week's episode of Real Housewives
- Elsa Patton Collapses at Real Housewives premiere
But give thanks to the Bravo Gods, because once all that setup was out of the way, things turned around.

Enter the Hearts and Stars gala, a soiree to raise money for, uh, children or something? Bravo's not in the reality show game for the philanthropy, folks. Bravo's in it for the red carpet. But just as we were seeing the ladies doing their best walk of fame, Miami's attention-hungry hangers-on started the suck-up fest. Malinka Max kicked it off, with Lisa Hochstein letting you know she was a "socialite." Is she? We have never heard of her.

Then, here came Thomas Kramer, who you might recognize from his cameo on the Atlanta Housewives' episode when they took a trip to the 305. If these bitches adore anything, apparently, it's Mr. Kramer. Dude shows up at basically every fancy gathering in Miami. (He is the loud one in the middle of the room in a bedazzled ensemble.)