The Real Housewives of Miami, Episode Seven: Blowjobs, Blowouts, and a Big Hairy Bush

We want to begin with a big shout out to Lisa Hochstein. Real Housewives of Miami episode seven began with her explaining what exactly the Susan G. Komen foundation is. Not exactly necessary, because we've all spent the past month inundated with pink ribbons, pink sports gear, the pink sign at Blue Collar, etc. But still, way to use your fame to give attention to a worthy cause.

See also:
- Joanna Krupa's Bravo Blowjob Controversy
- Smoking Hot Photos of Elsa Patton Before RHOM
- Last week's episode of Real Housewives

Hochstein needed to breakdown her favorite charity because her plastic surgeon husband loves boobs. Oh and she was throwing a lingerie party to support the cause. Or was it just an excuse to show off her body? We would flaunt that thing around if it were ours.

Miss Lisa isn't the only one getting all fired up to raise money. We have Lea Black in the final stages of her annual Black Gala, which we were lucky enough to attend last year at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach. It was, as always, really fierce, full of fame whores and the occasional A-lister.

But no fiesta or gala could outshine Joanna Krupa's hairy bush.

Allow us to explain. Krupa is essentially Miss PETA 2012 and constantly supports the cause. For her new ad campaign, she's saying the only fur anyone should be wearing is their own, which is a clever statement in theory but in photo shoot practice is really kind of gross. That 1970s-style shag carpet definitely does not match the drapes.

Joanna's love for the animals also causes her to hate Kim Kardashian. (Hey, at least she has a real reason to despise her. What's America's?)

Unlike most episodes of this program, there was a couple of standout moments. We had Lisa's jugs, per usual. Lea and her husband Roy's casual chat about a man being convicted of manslaughter. One of our personal favorites was Joanna's favorite store full of chonga wear, Claudio Milano. But really, it all came down to a Miami Herald article and Joe Francis' penis. Isn't that what most of your life stresses are about?