Dear Santa: 13 Snarky Scenes From Santa's Enchanted Forest

Categories: Around Town

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In a balmy, tropical paradise like Miami, Christmas spirit can be hard to come by. But to the delight of seasonally-starved folks across South Florida, Santa's Enchanted Forest has been bringing the North Pole to Tropical Park for 30 years and counting.

And whether you love it, hate it or lost your virginity in its parking lot (we're talking to you, Miami Gangnam girl), Santa's Enchanted Forest is South Florida's undisputed King of Christmas.

This year, we thought we'd chronicle the singular experience that is SEF via snapshots and (mostly) snarky comments. Because even Cultist likes to get into the Christmas spirit.

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Dear Santa,
Instead of cookies, shouldn't you be asking for cold hard cash to apply towards your electric bill? You're behind on your payments.
Sincerely,
FPL

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Dear Santa,

For Christmas, I would like protection from these creepy-as-hell Cabbage Patch-style stalkers. I will pay you.

Sincerely,
Sleepless in South Florida

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Dear Santa,

In return for magically flying you around the entire world in one night (with no breaks, we might add) every Christmas Eve for the last 400 years, we get a cramped pen and some stale hay?

We're unionizing.

Sincerely,
Rudolph and Team

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Dear Santa,

I might be diminutive in size, but this is just insulting. I quit.

Sincerely,
The World's Smallest Horse


Location Info

Map

Santa's Enchanted Forest

7900 SW 40th St., Miami, FL

Category: General

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1 comments
murdermysterymiami
murdermysterymiami

Dear Santa:

 

Please make sure the bolts are all tightened before I get on that Wild Mouse ride. Not sure even I'm covered for carny-related whiplash.

 

Sincerely,

Flo from Progressive

 

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