Dear Santa: 13 Snarky Scenes From Santa's Enchanted Forest
In a balmy, tropical paradise like Miami, Christmas spirit can be hard to come by. But to the delight of seasonally-starved folks across South Florida, Santa's Enchanted Forest has been bringing the North Pole to Tropical Park for 30 years and counting.
And whether you love it, hate it or lost your virginity in its parking lot (we're talking to you, Miami Gangnam girl), Santa's Enchanted Forest is South Florida's undisputed King of Christmas.
This year, we thought we'd chronicle the singular experience that is SEF via snapshots and (mostly) snarky comments. Because even Cultist likes to get into the Christmas spirit.
Instead of cookies, shouldn't you be asking for cold hard cash to apply towards your electric bill? You're behind on your payments.
For Christmas, I would like protection from these creepy-as-hell Cabbage Patch-style stalkers. I will pay you.
Sleepless in South Florida
In return for magically flying you around the entire world in one night (with no breaks, we might add) every Christmas Eve for the last 400 years, we get a cramped pen and some stale hay?
Rudolph and Team
I might be diminutive in size, but this is just insulting. I quit.
The World's Smallest Horse