Dear Santa: 13 Snarky Scenes From Santa's Enchanted Forest

Categories: Around Town

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Dear Santa,

This beach scene looks like something out of a post-apocalyptic nightmare.
Please cease this misrepresentation of South Florida beaches immediately, or we will be forced to take legal action.

Sincerely,
Greater Miami and the Beaches Convention & Visitors Bureau

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Dear Santa,

I need more booze. And health insurance.

Sincerely,
Bozo the Cold, Wet Clown

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Dear Santa,

Please bring some cold weather so I can wear a ridiculously awesome zebra-face hat. Ironically, of course.

Sincerely,
Miami Hipster

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Dear Santa,

Please bring me an electromagnetic shrink ray so I can miniaturize myself and live happily ever after in this little village.

Sincerely,
Hannah

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Dear Santa,

I'm out of my element. Without scantily clad drunk girls atop my back, my life feels aimless and without purpose. Please relocate me to Round Up.

Sincerely,
The Mechanical Bull

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Location Info

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Santa's Enchanted Forest

7900 SW 40th St., Miami, FL

Category: General

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1 comments
murdermysterymiami
murdermysterymiami

Dear Santa:

 

Please make sure the bolts are all tightened before I get on that Wild Mouse ride. Not sure even I'm covered for carny-related whiplash.

 

Sincerely,

Flo from Progressive

 

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