Kim Kardashian and Sisters to Receive the Keys to North Miami Today

Categories: Film and TV
Kardashian_Business_School.jpg
via blog.universitydecisions.com
Wow, Andre Pierre. You really wanted to meet the Kardashians, huh?

I mean, we get it. Millions of TV viewers are obsessed with them. They've got all kinds of famous connections. They're pretty hot.

But using your title as North Miami mayor to stage an "official welcome ceremony" in which you give the keys to your very own city to our country's most infamous celebutantes seems, well, a little desperate.

See also:
- Kim and Kourtney Kardashian Starting "War" with North Miami Residents
- Kim Kardashian Does Not Live in the Ghetto, Despite What You May Have Read
- The Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Sequel You've Been Waiting For Doesn't Actually Exist

It's an especially tragic move after the Kardashians were famously rejected by residents in more upscale neighborhoods near South Beach, their first choice of filming and temporary living locations. When the family unwillingly took their talents to North Miami instead, the general blogosphere consensus was that the Kardashians had moved to some real-life tropical version of New Jack City.

Oh yeah, and there's the issue of your constituents voicing complaints about being inconvenienced by film crews and paparazzi.

But you're still moving forward with your "special presentation" to the Kardashians this afternoon. And you're even taking the gals out to lunch afterward. How gentlemanly of you.

You know what, Andre Pierre? We hope your wildest hopes and dreams for today's ceremony come true. We hope Bruce Jenner shows up and offers you his Olympic gold medal as a token of appreciation for supporting his daughters' creative endeavors. We hope Lamar Odom notices you've been working out lately, and casually invites you to join his weekly pick-up game. We hope Kim Kardashian offers you a screening of that secret sex tape everyone keeps talking about. And we hope that, as you take the podium and are about to bestow the keys to North Miami to the sisters, Kanye West jumps on stage and steals your microphone, shouting "Imma let you finish, but Herrera Bower is the greatest Miami-Dade mayor of all time!"

It wouldn't make the ceremony any less embarrassing, but at least it would be entertaining.

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25 comments
Jorge F. Jorge
Jorge F. Jorge

Yay North Miami!! What's next ? Giving the key to the city to Porn Stars and Drug dealers?

Miguel Aybar
Miguel Aybar

How sad, wasting tax payers money to have a hoe who got famous for sucking cock on video come to your city.

South Beach - Miami, FLA
South Beach - Miami, FLA

Shunned in Miami Beach...keys to the shitty of North Miami? "Desperado" is the theme song of this event!

Nomejodas Pleez
Nomejodas Pleez

Those tricks have never even passed by north miami...deja la muela cherna

Brownie Izaguirre
Brownie Izaguirre

Not really sure why everyone's so upset? Lol It's the keys to North Miami. Lol This is pretty funny.

Glenn Ojalvo
Glenn Ojalvo

I guess like everything else, getting the keys to a city isn't a prestigious achievement as it use to be. I don't even qualify to get the keys to the BP men's room on 125 street, so am jealous of them lol

Tony Miller
Tony Miller

@gsbe. I get it a Fucking idiot. As in she's an idiot that fucks

I'mTam Boyd
I'mTam Boyd

For what? What have they done to make North Miami a better place? Is this for TV? Can anyone just buy a key to North Miami?

Rafi V Myami
Rafi V Myami

I'm not hating. BUT... wtf have they done? Name ONE thing.

Carlos Cnotez Rodriguez
Carlos Cnotez Rodriguez

funny bitch make a sex tape and she get keys to the city yet if any one of us just runs outside naked we getting tazzed broo

Chris Blythe
Chris Blythe

Obnoxious "reality" show + low rent sex tape= Keys to city? Well down N. Miami

Dulce Maria
Dulce Maria

oh come on. Miami has been working up to this for ages.

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