The Marlins' Salary-Dumping Trades Are Miami's Cultural Loss
But the truth is, recent moves by the Marlins affect all Miamians, not just its sports fans. This team, after all, has been responsible for some of the most dramatic shows, the most talked-about art, and the most flashy (if puzzling) performance art in town.
Here are just a few of the ways Miami culture will suffer in the aftermath of Loria's SalaryDumpocalypse.
Let's just get the Red Grooms "Tremenda Mierda Fountain" issue out of the way first, because you know it's coming. Yes, it's hideous. Yes, it's bafflingly large. But it's still art, goddammit, and this is still a town where we celebrate that shit, especially when there are drinks involved. Without a team capable of hitting baseballs into home run territory, that neon sculptural trainwreck won't be used to its full, splashing, spinning, dolphin-jumping potential. Unacceptable.
Showtime's first attempt to chronicle the Marlins in the show The Franchise, uh, didn't work out so well. But as several Twitter users pointed out last night, The Franchise, Miami Marlins 2: Who Are Any of These Guys Anyway would actually be pretty fun to watch. Award-winning, even. As some dude named Rick said, "I'd nominate #Marlins the franchise show the award in the #tragedy category."