The Marlins' Salary-Dumping Trades Are Miami's Cultural Loss

Categories: Sports

Let's not forget the move the Marlins made just a few short weeks ago: firing Ozzie Guillen. This alone was cause for a cultural outcry in Miami. The man is, after all, dramatic theater at its finest. When he's not composing brilliantly eloquent dialogue with a real avant-garde sense for punctuation, he's starring in his own political telenovela regarding relations with Miami's Cuban population. The man was born for the stage, folks. And now he's gone.

Performance Art
Some called Logan Morrison's bubble bath with fellow teammate Bryan Petersen a silly photo op. We call it highbrow performance art challenging society's strict gender roles and addressing the meaning of cleanliness in these modern, tweetable times. LoMo and Petersen are still Miami Marlins (for now). And LoMo's even threatening to revive their act. But without half the damn team, who's going to be there to capture their next Instagram masterpiece? As the saying goes, if two men bathe naked in a forest, but nobody sees it, then fuck you Jeffrey Loria.

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everyone grow some balls & boycott the team.

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