Eight Reasons ESPN Should Fire Skip Bayless
4. He Makes Shit Up
Bayless doesn't just ignore facts that exist in the real world; he makes up fake "facts" to take their place. Case in point: Skipperdoodle likes talking about what he calls the "clutch gene". He loves to talk about it. His brain is so intensely trained on this idea -- that LeBron was born with an inadequate clutch gene -- that in an article published by ESPN in November, he repeatedly described the Heat's Championship victory over the Thunder with the preface, "All because..." in an attempt to downplay the relevance of the series and LeBron's performance, after spending a paragraph frothing at the mouth about the sheer critical importance of the magic gene. That's the sort of wild-eyed madness you can Baker Act somebody for in Florida.
5. He's a Racist
This is not the first salvo against ESPN's moron run amok fired by the Miami New Times. I would be remiss if I did not give all due credit to the honorable Uncle Luke, whose poignant and incisive article on the human ugliness that is Skip highlighted the swine's history of racial transgressions, such as this gem: "...he wrote a column blasting Hall of Fame Dallas Cowboy running back Tony Dorsett as an 'All-pro con man' and opened with the following line: 'Before we tar and feather Tony Dorsett...' Obviously, Dorsett was more than upset, who noted that tarring and feathering were acts often associated with the lynching of black men in the Deep South. How on Earth does this psychotic sycophant still have a job?
6. He's Not An Enjoyable Villain
Okay, so maybe Skip is the bad guy of the sporting airwaves, the dark counterpart to Stephen A. Smith's brilliance. But he's a shitty bad guy. This isn't a man we love to hate -- this is simply a man we hate. There is nothing we enjoy about his stupidity. It's not riveting or enthralling or even entertaining; it's just some buffoon in a suit jerking off and blustering on television.
7. He Should Know Better
Ironically enough, I stand as the evidence for this point. Skip and I both went to Vanderbilt University. We both graduated with degrees in English and history. And while I don't know if his has the same latin honors stamped onto it, I can say firsthand that there's a very definite level of mental acuity necessary to earn that snazzy little piece of paper. Which means Skip is either a lot brighter than he acts on TV and he's just having a rollicking good time with his silly-ass antics, or he's not only a crazed idiot, but a cheat as well. In either case, I'm hoping they'll ban the spineless bugger from the University grounds for eternity.
8. He Is Bad At His Job
There's skill to this journalism stuff, and when you get to the pros, there shouldn't be a place for acceptable mediocrity. But Skip is far, far below mediocre and he works for one of the most popular sports networks in the world, with a daily pulpit, and nothing smart to say. He is a jester in poor taste who seems to have lost the humor to his cavalcade of bad jokes. He is a classical mudslinger, a media man without substance and a talent only for loudness. He is an embarrassing blemish to the profession, and, quite frankly, he must be stopped.
Remember the words of the good Doctor, ESPN - "Kill the head and the body will die."